Abortion support - regret and pain

[GreyandBlues]

Hi

I guess I’m writing this as I need some hope..

im 31 don’t have kids and just had a medical abortion. I am absolutely devasted I made that choice seeing as I have always wanted kids but my ex broke up with me when founding out I was pregnant and since then it has been a rollercoaster of if I should keep it or not. We were together two years and I also found out he was seeing someone so that added onto my heartbreak. I had family support but I was so scared to have the baby. I wasn’t over my ex and I wasn’t sure if I would be having this baby out of spite my head was so confused.

now that it’s gone, I’m terrified. And full of regret
what if I never get pregnant again. I’m 31 what if I never meet someone what if I don’t get over the heartbreak

I feel a constant ache in my heart

You will absolutely get over this and there’s nothing to say after an abortion you can’t conceive again.
you’ll find the right one and settle down and then have a baby when it’s exactly the right time for you.
your hormones will be so up and down right now that you’re bound to feel like this. Don’t be hard on yourself at all.
ive had two abortions. One at 15, one at 16 and now have a healthy happy 13 year old daughter.
I am currently pregnant again with my husband and unfortunately decided this isn’t something we want but he had a vasectomy so this was never on our cards. I have my abortion on the 26th.

Please dont be so hard on yourself, it wasn’t the right time for you now but your time will absolutely come <3

Sending you a lot of love. I have three kids and had a MA recently and I'm feeling a lot of grief so you are not alone.

Relationship grief is also a very valid feeling and I can imagine there's a lot going on.

I ended up divorcing in my mid 30s and felt like that was it. It ended up being one of the best things that could happen to me. I learned so much about myself. An amazing man walked into my life last year when I was at a point where I was incredibly content with the new life that has evolved.

Your time will come. Please be gentle with yourself and if you have the means to seek out help and talk to someone please reach out to them. Don't struggle alone xx

Oh lovely I know how you feel but time makes it easier. I was in the same situation as you but I’m 35! I was the same as you and constantly think what if and what if it was my only chance. However you must try and remember your reasons. You did what was right for a child’s future and I came to the decision for me that I’d rather get a sperm donor in future than bring a child into a world tied financially to someone for 18 years who rejected the baby and have to co parent for years to come with more heartbreak.

mine was in May and it’s only now I feel each day I see a clear future. You are grieving and you need to be kind to yourself and deserve a happy relationship to bring a baby into the world.

if it makes you feel better. Most of my friends are only just starting to have babies at 36/37 plus! So at 31 it’s not your only chance I promise xxx

Oh wow I’m sorry you went through that.

we had an amazing relationship and it all went sour when I got pregnant.. when I’d mentioned I wanted to keep it he was so rude and like a different person. I couldn’t bare having that child for the wrong reasons and being heartbroken as he is now with someone new…

We got this x
Its only been one day… I hope it will get better

I understand, the ‘dad’ for me manipulated me and made me question everything and with so many hormones going on I started to doubt myself.

its horrible that men see termination as just taking a quick pill and we move on and forget. The women have to deal with the aftermath and it takes time to repair.

im very spiritual and I do believe that when women abort and want to be a mum in future - you are destined to and it’s our given path in future.

its still so early for you and you will feel bad for some time but always message on here as it helps! You feel like you are alone yet there is so much support on here! X