Abortion do you ever get over it?

[Cosymum22]

So I recently found out I’m pregnant again (would be 3rd baby) I have 2 beautiful children already. This pregnancy was not planned and definitely unexpected.
after talking it over myself and my husband believe it is best to end the pregnancy. As much as we would absolutely love another baby we do not feel we are financially stable to have one and feel it could hurt our kids by doing so.

my question is do you ever get over having an abortion? The thought of it is killing me although I know it’s the right choice for my current children I just feel horrendous having to do it and I worry how it will affect me mentally

Sorry you are going through this. Whether or not you ever get over an abortion is a very individual thing. I have never got over the one I had when I was 20, but that's just my own experience. Some do seem to get over it, even if they go through a difficult time initially, then others who know they are definitely making the right decision seem to bounce back from it quickly. I would say consider all the options open to you before reaching a decision. It's probably a good idea to have counselling before coming to a decision too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thank you for your message! I’m sorry you went through having one and regret it it’s definitely not an easy decision for anyone to make x

I am in the same position. I'm 42 and completely unplanned (was on the pill) have 2 older children aged 13 and 17. Logic is saying a baby would have a negative impact on many levels, but my heart feels broken at the thought of a termination. I'm also 13 weeks already ( didn't find out till 12 weeks) so feels even worse as would have to have a surgical abortion.

It's different for everybody who was one and there is no way of you knowing how you'll feel until it's over. But if you have thought everything through and you believe you are making the right decision by having a termination - just keep reminding yourself of that and don't let the change in hormones overpower you x

I’m sorry you are going through this also! It is definitely not an easy decision for anyone! X

*has, sorry x

Hi @Cosymum22 it's been 2 months since mine and this week was the first time I've started to feel like myself again . It was unbelievably painful for me emotionally and I have had to dig really deep to try pull myself together and not plummet into a depression. It's been hard I won't lie. What I would say is go with your gut and heart listen to that never your head. If you have the time take the time to fully make the decision and don't rush it. It's heartbreaking the position your in sending you all my love and hugs that you will make the decision that is right for you xx

@Sab1981 sending you the biggest hug ever . My mam had my sister when I was 16 and my brouther was 14 but she was the best thing that ever happened to the family. She brought so much joy as we done Santa clause all over again the Easter bunny and all the fun kids stuff again and her and my mam are as thick as thieves . She is now 21. My mam thought she was done with kids then had her. I'm 2 months post abortion and it's been hard to get myself back really hard . I feel you need a really strong mind and have to be positive after an abortion or you go very dark . I struggled a lot and have had to really dig deep and keep myself above water and not let this break me . It's hard decision the hardest you will ever make. Sending you so much love I hope you mind yourself okay xx

Thank you everyone for your responses. I’m so lost on what to do and just don’t know if it’s a right decision. I’m trying so hard to think about my 2 current children and want to give them the world and I’m not sure we can with another baby. But the thought of getting rid of a baby is horrible I’m just not sure how strong I’d be to go through with it x

You are so strong don't doubt yourself mama. You are a beautiful soul xx

Hey. You’ve already been given great advice about how everyone reacts differently. I’ve also never heard someone say before about how you never know how you’ll react until afterwards and that’s so true! I don’t think for anyone it’s a reset back to where things were.

Financially, only you know the answer to that. Really do your sums to the ground though to see whether you can manage better than you think - if nothing else just so that you know afterwards that you’ve run it to the ground making absolutely sure. The only other thing I’d say is that your kids also need a present, whole, mentally well mother in order to have the world. If you think that a termination might leave you struggling, potentially for a long time then they would miss out from that situation as well. That’s something I didn’t realise when in that crisis zone.

Hi, thought I would update. So was still unsure what to do, waited 2 weeks for 1st scan, thought I was 14 weeks max. Scan yesterday had the biggest shock ever when they told me I was nearly 21 weeks !!!! Was also convinced it was a girl and it's a boy ! Complete panic set in. Have calmed down now and had chance to process somewhat. I guess fate took over as no way I could terminate that late. So decision was kind of made for me. Both now excited and petrified.

@Sab1981 this must have been a shock! Delighted for you though - that’s really lovely news ❤️

This is beautiful news I wish this happend to me . You and baby boy will be fine mama. The biggest hug to you xx 💙🦋

@Tinydancer222 couldn’t have said it better ❤️

I feel so bad for you, Cosymum. The words "we would absolutely love another baby" means you should really take your time on this decision. So many women abort quickly and think "I'll make the problem go away and then deal with whatever aftermath comes later." But many times, regret and sadness is what they are left dealing with. Give yourself time for the shock of the surprise pregnancy to wear off a little so you can think with a clearer head and take into account what your partner thinks. I wish you all the best, dear.

@Poster57 big hugs to you xx