Do I tell him?

[pickle2020]

Hi, I'm just looking for a bit of advice please.

My partner ended our long term relationship recently as he no longer loves me/wants to be together/is really confused with what he wants - we have a toddler together so still see/talk daily and we do generally get on well.
The last few weeks we have still been occasionally sleeping together (not ideal, I know!) I found out earlier this week with an early test I am pregnant, 4 weeks today (I had sore boobs and just knew). I'm so angry with myself for getting in this situation, but these things happen. As soon as I saw the positive come up, I was on the phone booking an appointment for a MA. I have had my consultation this morning and I have a scan booked in, before I can then have the tablets to take at home. I admit, I am 90% certain I want to go through with this, part of me naturally thinks what if though.

My ex partner does not want any more children, (we had previously always said we would like two), and I had accepted and adapted to just having the one. Due to finances and how hard children can be, I do agree with having just the one child which we can better provide for. I am honestly more than happy with the one.

The thing is, I have not told him about this pregnancy, and I'm very torn on whether I should. He has some mental health issues of his own where he wants to get therapy to talk about how he is feeling, to figure out what he wants etc, which I know he needs to address first, and I feel it would really complicate things even more by telling him about it, but then I think, does he have the right to know? This is going to sound so selfish, but I would like to reconcile with him and I think this would really cause a massive set back to any potential relationship that we could have. I kind of feel I just want to deal with this and get it over with so I can move on.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hiya
Did you decide what to do ? I know most mums on here would disagree with me but as your so early I wouldn’t tell him and just do it with the pills like you say. I think it would be more stress and hassle to tell him. Especially if your sure that your going ahead with the termination. Obviously it’s only my opinion but I feel like men can’t deal with things at the best of times so it’s easier and less stress to do things on our own sometimes. Hope your doing ok anyway.

Hi @Threebutterflies24 thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it.
No I have not said anything, I really don’t think it will help the situation at all. I defo agree that some men can only deal with one thing at a time, I think it will be too much. Plus, the outcome would still be the same whether I tell him or not, I don’t know if that’s the best way to think about it, but it’s all I can go by.
I’m 100% sure on my decision to go through with the termination, another child is really not something I can go through with. Even tho I do find it sad, I know it’s the right choice for myself.