Abortion at 14 weeks - Help!

[Birkenstocksandsocks]

Hi

Does anyone have experience of an abortion around 14 weeks? How bad is the procedure and the aftermath?

This is a very much wanted baby. I’ve had my booking in appointment and 12 week scan, I absolutely adore my baby. I’ve had a NIPT so I know my baby is a little girl.

Unfortunately it’s unlikely that Social Services will allow me to keep my baby as I had significant mental health problems in a previous pregnancy.
My first child lives with their Dad and I see them regularly, this is likely what would happen to this baby.

Thank you

are you under the perinatal mh team? please, please get some support. they can advise as there are places like mum and baby units etc. you do not have to terminate and it will be devastating for your mh. just because that happened last time doesnt mean it will happen this time. the process at 14 weeks will be hideous. please stick with the pregnancy and hopefully getting some support in place. it could be wroth speaking to a solicitor to give you the best chance of things not going like last time

I’m under the perinatal mental health team and they are really happy with my mental health at the moment. I had post partum psychosis which is why social services were involved in the first place.

I have been contacted by social services to say after over a year my unsupervised time with my first child needs to be supervised whilst they fully assess me and have warned my ex partner (father of both children) that he needs to prepare to be a single dad to a newborn. My guess is social services will not allow me to keep my daughter.

I can’t cope with my second child being removed.

what a horrendous situation for you especially as you are taking such a proactive approach to managing your mh this time round. i dont know your financial situation but i would if you could get a solicitor involved. it may also be worth contacting PANDAs who are a perinatal mh charity including a helpline and may be able to provide you with advice as will have come across this scenario beforehand. ss usuallly do what they can to support the birth mum to keep their child so hopefully they are just talking to people to assess risk rather than this being the actual case. i know solicitors are expensive but getting some legal representation involved seems very important especially given the change in access and pre warning your ex without speaking to you etc. i am sure you are feeling very vulernable but believe me having had a termination when my mh was bad, the aftermath was far worse. you are fighting and that shows a commitment and the love you can provide x

Definitely contact an expert! There must be people who understand the legalities.
Do not abort a baby who you describe wanting so much. Engage with social services and show you are doing everything you can for your mental health and that you want to have this child with you.

This is such a difficult situation, I hope you get the support you need.
I had a medical termination at 13 weeks, so can't comment on the surgical option. The process I went through was traumatic for me, I actually found it more painful than being in labour with the children I had a few years later. The emotional side was hard to cope with too, I had no inkling before hand that even though I'd chosen it, it would feel like such a loss, and that I would regret it so much. Over 40 years later I still relive it wishing for a different outcome. That's not to say it's the same for everyone, but it is my experience.