Feel gutted- don’t know what to do

[alwaysamess]

I’ve been with my partner 2 years and I’m 30. We’re in the middle of a house renovation and my partner is trying to go self employed.
He has a 14 year old son. He’s great but this would be a big change for him, not long after moving and rennovating.
We decided to remove my coil last month as we want children. I was worried about my fertility as my periods have always been irregular so I thought it would take ages to get pregnant.
I have big regrets from not travelling more in my 20s and we had two big trips planned in Oct and Jan.
We had hoped to get pregnant later this year when the house has a kitchen (likely to take more than 9 months from now) and we had a financial plan.
I had thought if it happened sooner I would be happy and we would manage. I presumed I could still go on the big trips (I’ve since googled and the advice is not to travel to either place if pregnant).
but after a (false) negative test 3 weeks ago, I realised I was no where near ready and was so glad it was negative. We decided to start natural cycles to be careful and use condoms.
I tested positive two days ago. I feel gutted. I don’t feel ready. I feel trapped. I’m wishing we didn’t take the coil out.
my partner is happy but is very worried about money and how his son my feel.
Im seriously considering the other options but I feel evil. This is a baby we want, but it’s too soon. I’ve been in a state of panic for the last two days.

Hey OP. So my story is kind of similar although I had an abortion 13/14 years ago as we weren’t ready although it was mainly his decision in the termination (still same partner). It broke me and still does to this day. I came off the pill in May 23 as I’d been on it for 12/13 years not had periods (didn’t have a break with Micronor) and they told me it would take a year or two to get pregnant due to my age (I’m 40 in August this year). We were ok with that as we’ve only just got our house mostly done and managed to start saving again. We were also being careful and using protection. Fast forward to November 23 and I found out I’m 2-3 weeks pregnant. The shock for both of us was unreal but I immediately told him I am keeping the baby. I couldn’t go through another abortion and I really wanted a baby and age was not on my side. He too has a daughter who at the time was 15 so we were scared of telling her. I don’t know why as she was over the moon! She’s longed for a younger sibling (little did we know) and she’s now constantly asking when the baby will be here. I’ve had a long tough journey with my pregnancy and it’s been high risk but I’m 35+3 today and I can’t wait to meet my little girl. I know she’s going to change our lives for the better, even if it means I have to change mine.
I’m not saying do it it’ll all be fine, but I’m giving my experience just so you’ve got a view.
I hope whatever you choose is the best decision for you! Be kind to yourself x

Thank you, and congratulations!