so torn about late surgical abortion

[sosad90]

I'm currently 15 weeks and 5 days and I've booked dozens of appointments since i found out at 7 weeks and this whole time i've not been able to come to a decision on what to do. Realistically my life will be a lot better if I do proceed and I already have a 3 yo that I can barely manage and had very bad pnd with. The father i've been with for a year and he's been on and off with what he wants too one day he says it's up to me then the next he says he wants me to abort. I've started to feel it move and I'm just scared of what I will feel after the surgery. Has anyone else been in this position? My surgery is booked for tomorrow and I've made up my mind to go but it's still so heartbreaking

Hi I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you will just know at the time. If you can't face going to the appointment and want to put if off then I think you should keep going with the pregnancy. But if the thought of another baby scares you and your struggling to see a future with a baby then I would go through with the termination. I had an abortion a few weeks ago. It was a difficult decision with a roller coaster of emotions but after a week of thinking it over I decided to go ahead with the termination. I don't regret it however I was only 8 weeks and I do think I would've struggled with the process if I had been further along.

Ultimately you need to do what's right for you and your family and whatever you choose will be the right decision. I think it's so hard making the decision but like to believe that whatever you choose in the end will be the right choice for you and your circumstances at this time.

Good luck

Hi, sorry you are in such a difficult position. Have you had counselling to help you reach a decision you can live with? It might be helpful, if you can arrange it quickly at this stage.
I had a termination when I was 20, and still regret it now. When I had a second unplanned pregnancy a few years later I couldn't decide what to do and saw a counsellor at around 10 weeks. She said that 'by not making a decision you are making a decision'. It made sense to me, I knew I couldn't go through another termination, so by deciding not to I effectively decided to have the baby. It turned out to be the right thing for me, and I never regretted it.
If you think you will find it heartbreaking, maybe that is your answer? Nobody else can decide for you, I hope you reach the right decision for you, whatever you decide.