Medical abortion story. Don't be scared. Just be prepared

[A0m0y]

Sharing my abortion experience to hopefully help someone else.

Abortion completed this bank holiday weekend.

I have two children already aged 4 and 6. Me and my partner weren't planning on having any more kids. We were using condoms but one split one night so the next morning I had the morning after pill. When I was due my period I was late and I just knew. Took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

I felt numb, I wasnt happy but I wasnt sad either. I tried to come to terms with it but my main concern was money. Ive just started a new job and only been here 8 weeks.

I booked myself a consultation and scan with Nupas to be sure of my gestation and also because I'd taken the morning after pill they said I would need a scan.

A week later I had my appointment. She did a vaginal scan and confirmed I was 6 weeks 6 days.

She asked me if I was sure of my decision and I said yes. As she was talking me through the process I started to cry because it suddenly felt very real.

I decided to give myself some time to think it over. A week passed and in that time I talked to my partner lots. He was so sad about the thought of having another child. Ive never seem him so down and depressed. Things just started getting a bit easier with my two children and they were getting a bit more independent. I couldn't bare the thought of telling my boss. I'm still on my probation. Eventually I made my mind up.

I took the first pill on Thursday morning and then on Friday about 6pm I took a codeine and then an hour later at 7pm I inserted 4 pills vaginally. Apart from some mild period pains for 3 hours I had no bleeding at all so I was a bit worried and I inserted 2 more pills vaginally.

About 1 hour later the cramps got worse but nothing unbearable. Just uncomfortable. Then I started the bleed around 11pm.

I sat on the toilet for around 3 hours on and off because I found it easier to let it all pass out of me. I passed around 8 clots it total which felt quite large, maybe a golf ball or lemon sized. And blood was just continually dripping out until 2am.

I put an after birth pad on and tried to sleep. I woke two hours later and I had completely soaked and leaked out of the pad. I passed another clot. Was slightly worried about the size of the clots throughout but I could tell the bleeding was easing now so that reassured me.

I put another big pad on and slept till 9am. The pad was only a bit full when I got up this time.

Yesterday my bleeding was like a normal period amount and today it has been fairly light.

I cried at the time of abortion because I was sad that I had decided to go through with it but also I was just tired and wanted it to be over.

Today I feel relieved and not sick anymore.

I hope my experience helps others that are going through this. It's an emotional roller coaster and you can feel very alone and confused.

But just remember you're not alone and you have to do what's right for you and that's all that matters.

To confirm, I was 8 weeks pregnant.
Pain was very manageable but I did take a codeine 1 hour before. Once bleeding started pain subsided quite a bit. Slight period pains after but nothing more than any pains I had felt whilst being pregnant.
I was very pale and felt lightheaded after but mainly just tired and needed to rest for a day.
Overall the experience was not as bad as I expected.
It's now Monday and I feel back to normal with normal to light bleeding.
I'm glad I've made the decision to terminate. It wasnt an easy decision for me and I'm sure I will think about it for a long time.

I hope my story and experience helps someone else to at least feel like they're not alone.

@A0m0y thank you so much for sharing. I am in the situation where I have to make the decision and knowing a bit about what happens and that it isn’t horrific is reassuring should I choose this option. Big hug.

No problem. I'm sorry you're having to make this decision. It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I don't regret my decision and I'm hoping my mindset stays this way and that I don't torture myself about it in the future. If you want to ask any more questions or just want to chat about it, I'm more than happy to help.

@A0m0y thank you so much. I think for me I feel it’s probably the right thing to terminate but then I talk myself out of it and that going through with the pregnancy is right. And this confusion continues 🫣
I have my telephone appointment with BPAS tomorrow morning so will just go from there.
Thank you again for sharing. xx

I feel like I needed to reply to this as been through the same myself. I found out at 4 weeks that I was pregnant and called MSI in a panic on the first day. I initially booked in for a medical abortion, with the appointment being made in 2 weeks time. I tortured myself, trying to convince myself what was the right decision, and changed my mind more times than I can remember. I spoke to a MSI counsellor who really helped and made me realise decisions like this will never be black and white, which is how I expected it to be. After attending my appointment to get the medication for medical abortion, I broke down and changed my mind to a surgical abortion. I had already done some research prior to the appointment and thought this would be the best option for me. I had to wait another 2 weeks for this appointment. I can honestly say that I’m so thankful that I had waited those 4 weeks before actually taking any action, as despite booking in for termination straight away, I was definitely in 2 minds up until about 1 week ago. I have never cried and worried so much in my life (I’m 38 with 2 children) but I know I have made the right choice and I strangely don’t feel any type of emotion today. I never ever thought I’d get to this place mentally, but time is definitely key. Don’t rush Your decision. whatever you decide will be right for you.

@NalaJo thanks for sharing. I think that’s what I did, I panic booked an appointment with BPAS, 2 days after I found out.
I spoke with them this morning, and the lady was so lovely. She went through all the info and my options and booked a counselling call for me for Friday and then is due to call me back next week to see where I’m at.
However, in the last hour or so I’ve started to have some bleeding, so looking like an early miscarriage I guess. Which would be decision made for me. x

Thinking of you ❤️ As awful as it sounds, I was willing a miscarriage on myself so I didn’t have to make the decision. I hope you are ok x

@NalaJo Thank you 🥰
Yeah I totally get that, it crossed my mind too when I first found out. But now it’s happening I’m not really sure how I feel. It’s been such a rollercoaster of emotions this past week I guess I need to give my self some time before I can really know what I feel about it all. Thank you. xx

Thank you so much for posting this. I've just found out today that I'm surprise pregnant, and have no idea what to do. I'm 90% sure a termination is the right choice, but aside from the clusterfu** of emotions going through my head, I'm worried about the physical pain. I had a missed miscarriage in my 20s that was shockingly painful and have been picturing a termination being similar to that. It's reassuring to know that it might not be that bad, physically at least.

How are you feeling now, a few weeks on?

Hi I'm pregnant now is 5 weeks Friday I going Nupas for scan,and I still don't know which one is better medical or surgical please can u give some experience wit this

Thank you for posting this. I’ve just found out that I’m pregnant and my partner doesn’t want to keep the baby. I understand his reasons and think that he’s partly right, it’s mainly financial. But I’ve been desperate to have children for so long. It seems to unfair.

Your post has eased my worries about what would happen if I terminated the pregnancy. Still lots of emotions and I’m going back and forth. I didn’t know about MSI, I phoned my GP and they’ve said I’d have to wait 2 weeks for a consultation…