Help

[Notsoflirtythirty]

I had an abortion a year ago, it wasn't the right time, I also panicked about how logistics would work with older children. I've struggled over the last year with my decision, gone through counseling for it.

I'm pregnant again and just don't know what to do. Live in a smaller house 3 bedroom's. Older children each have their own room's. They could potentially share but a large age gap puts me off.

Could split out bedroom into a small double and a small single, has double aspect windows but it's not ideal walking through room's. Also anxious about childcare cost's. I'm just terrified of either decision. I feel so confused

Breathe, before you were pregnant what were your reasons for having a baby. The change in hormones will be making you go crazy and over thinking / focusing on the negatives. Write a list of logical pros / cons and then your heart pros / cons.

Either way it’s your choice just make sure your are completely sure if you don’t want to progress the pregnancy. Can you speak with the councillor again?

This absolutely wasn't a planned pregnancy. I've just got a lot of worries, worried about finances, I'm comfortable now but worried that it could make me tight. Me and my partner don't live together as it stands but if we did this could affect finances.

My kid's have only recently got their own room's, we lived in a 2 bed flat before that, the plan for me was to move again in a few year's. However this could be set back, due to potential nursery fee's and so on. And what I would be allowed to borrow mortgage wise.

Just so many thing's that I'm worrying about.

How did you feel after your first termination? Would you have changed what you’d decided last time? That might help with your answer.

I've struggled for the last year. Had to take time off work, currently in therapy. It's caused a big void between myself and partner, ill admit I've been difficult to be around.

All the reasons for the termination were valid and would still be today, I'm just worried about telling him and how he will react

I guess it’s weighing up whether going through that again or whether having another is harder. Or from what you’re saying whether having another is even possible so I understand it’s not always so simple. Please take your time it’s such a difficult position to be in & pregnancy hormones won’t help.

i hope you’re getting some support and feeling a little better at least. I think it’s so important to talk it through - can your current therapist help?

Possibly they could help. I think we would manage with another one, although it would be going back 1000 steps in terms of being out of the baby stage.

I'm just terrified to tell my partner that it's happened again. Not that he would react badly, just feel stupid. Although we took precautions

In all fairness… it’s not like you got pregnant yourself. I really don’t think you should feel stupid. You’re not the first person to get pregnant whilst taking precautions and won’t be the last.

Facts!!! I hope u found resolve to tell your partner and do what aligns with you and your family. I think from what ur saying it’s the fact that it’s “another one” we shouldn’t be judge by how many we have/haven’t had. But I think we do it to eachother and ourselves

I've not spoken to my partner about it, I needed to take some time to think about what I actually wanted and how I feel about it, as I know if i told him I wanted to keep it he would fully support me.

I think I'm going to go ahead with a termination, I just don't think I want to go back to sleepless night's, nappies, feeling trapped by a young child. We're just starting to get our lives back, the youngest of the 4 children between us is nearly 11. I want us to be able to enjoy ourselves. Anyway I've contacted msi and waiting to hear back from them and then going to look at a more permanent form of contraception.