Unsure and 9 weeks

[Honeybeebeez]

I’m 42 have a 25yr old and a 13yr old. Found myself pregnant before holiday and had awful symptoms. Feel so sick tired and emotional. Was expecting to miscarry as I have before 3 times in last 4 hrs. All unplanned
I do t want to be pregnant but I didn’t want to get to 9/10 weeks and face this decision. All reasons I think seem selfish why I do t want a baby. I’m scared it’ll have problems I work with special needs children so quite aware of how difficult it is to parent a child like this. I don’t think I could cope. Ive been in denial haven’t even taken folic acid or stopped drinking. I know it’s not right for me to have a baby but there’s a small part of me that’s not thinking realistically
I’m also so scared to take the pills and only have a window of 2 days now so can’t even plan it when I’m alone

sorry you are in such a difficult position. dont rush the decision- i know theres the issues of the tablets but you can get surgery. i would try and access some counselling- somewhere like bpas or Arch/Stillwaters may be able to speak to you quickly. if you cant access this at least right down on paper the pros and cons and also think about how you may feel after taking the tablets. i rushed into my decision and did not process things but was driven by the negatives rather than writing things down. it may help you process things. and as someone said there may not be an easy decision one way or another but its what will almost is the less hard- e.g can you have the tbalets and move on or are you someone who regrets everything and will always be thinking 'what if' e.g for you would it be harder coping with a baby or with moving on. message if you nee to, its a lonely place to be and a hard decision to make especially as there are so many what ifs and uncertainties x