Abortion consideration & guilt

[newtothisxxx]

Hi.
I hope I'm posting on right page.
I'm 5 weeks pregnant by my ex partner. We had a MC in 2022, have been split up nearly 2 years. We've stayed friends and a drunken night has ended in pregnancy, I did take the morning after pill but not in time clearly. We live 3 hours apart. He's aware of pregnancy and has said he'll support me either way although he knows the situation isn't ideal and won't be around often. I don't think I can carry on and be a single mum, raising a baby alone, I lost my job end of last year and live with family. I know my family would be so supportive but it's a massive life change and I've always dreamt of a family but not like this. I'm 35 and worry I'm throwing away my only chance to be a mother however
I feel termination is the best option however not just for me but for the child in the long run. How do you get over the guilt of having a termination? Especially after a MC. Am I selfish?

Sorry you are going through this.

From the previous discussions on these boards, it seems reactions to terminations vary enormously, so I would say you should focus on what you really want to do. It might help to speak to a counsellor to help you decide.

My own experience of a termination when I was 20 was that I did feel a lot of guilt in the years following. Having a child 4 years later brought home to me what I'd lost, and in one way I felt happier finally having a baby, but in other ways it made the guilt worse. I've tried to forgive myself, and had counselling, but it has been a struggle. For me it's actually as much grief as guilt, because though termination seemed the sensible decision in my head, in my heart it wasn't what I really wanted. Sorry if this doesn't sound very positive, it is just my own experience, and it's different for everyone.

I hope you come to a decision you are happy with for yourself. At 5 weeks you do still have some time to consider your options.