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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Unplanned pregnancy

6 replies

Louiselouxo · 17/03/2024 13:07

Is anyone able to offer my advice? I’m currently five weeks pregnant unplanned and my partner of five years and three kids doesn’t want me to keep. I am absolutely gutted :( I know I cannot force him to want this but I am so upset I can’t even explain. To make things worse my only abortion option is surgical and awake because I have heart conditions. Everything seems so much and so rubbish I’m breaking over this. I do not know what to do :(

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heartbroken22 · 18/03/2024 01:56

It doesn't matter what he wants. What do you want? Don't do it if you don't want to. It's your choice not anyone else's. Don't think men understand how traumatic it is for women and the grief that follows. It's so easy for them to say get rid and that's not okay. They need to be educated.

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Louiselouxo · 18/03/2024 06:54

I really don’t want to do it, I know it will affect me forever. I can’t sleep or eat I’m so stressed out. But am I being selfish making everyone accept a baby that is not wanted :(

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heartbroken22 · 18/03/2024 09:56

You want it that matters. You're the mother. Everybody else will accept baby when it's here. People are happy to say get rid but then when you have a baby to hold in your hands they melt and say you did the right thing. Keep it and don't let anyone sway you. I wish I had more support when I went with a termination but everybody told me to abort. I regretted it instantly and there was no going back. I got pregnant 3 months later and although I adore my baby girl I dwell on my terminated baby. I hate myself for doing what I did. That's why I'm telling you follow your heart and keep you bundle of joy. Don't listen to anyone.

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Louiselouxo · 18/03/2024 12:01

Thankyou, I appreciate the support! I’ve lost children before. 22weeks and 38 weeks so my heart can’t take anymore baby losses! But I would be lieing if I didn’t say I’m terrified of losing our family, the children adore their dad and he really is an amazing dad!

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heartbroken22 · 18/03/2024 21:47

I'm so sorry about your losses. I hope we meet them in heaven some day. I've had a loss at 6 weeks, then had a termination at 8 week due to severe hg. This miscarriage was painful but the termination grief is and was hell. I did it to myself and it's not easy to forgive or forget. I hope things work out for you. Every one gets anxious at first even men!

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Louiselouxo · 19/03/2024 08:23

I’m so sorry for you too. And I’d like to think one day we will see them again! I don’t think men understand the grief women feel for our babies. 💖 I’m currently just waiting it out and hoping the next couple weeks help him come round to the idea 🤞🏼

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