Looking for some friendly advice, please don’t be judgmental.
I will try and keep this short as possible.
Backstory, I have a 13 month old who I caught pregnant unexpectedly. I didn’t plan to have kids for a couple of years but I decided to continue with the pregnancy. At this time I was 25 living at my Mums and my partner had moved in. It ended up being a really stressful pregnancy, We bought a house (or should i say I did) deposit was mine and mortgage is solely in my name due to partners bad credit. My employer then started treating me really poorly and to top it off my partner started to become extremely unreliable with work taking sick days and owing out hundreds of pounds.
Anyway, we made it through. I suffered terribly with PND and baby had undiagnosed reflux so it was a rough few first months.
My partner up until recently has still been squandering money which I believe to be for a prescription drug dependency.
He now works off shore so is away for half of the month. Financially this is great, but due to broken trust our relationship is just an utter misery. I dread him being home. I do everything with our little one plus clean up after his mess. (Simply because I can’t live in it)
Fastforward to now, I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. I can’t see our relationship lasting. I keep thinking it would be unfair to bring another life into a miserable household. I would be basically signing myself up to being a single parent of 2 and there is no way I could afford it. If we split I would have to sell my home.
But besides all of this I still cant help but think I may regret a termination. I keep telling myself its for the best and it probably is. I guess my question is can you ever be sure with a decision like this?
I would absolutely love more kids. Just not with my DP.