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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

I can’t decide whether to continue with my pregnancy

3 replies

Abbie000 · 13/03/2024 21:44

Looking for some friendly advice, please don’t be judgmental.

I will try and keep this short as possible.

Backstory, I have a 13 month old who I caught pregnant unexpectedly. I didn’t plan to have kids for a couple of years but I decided to continue with the pregnancy. At this time I was 25 living at my Mums and my partner had moved in. It ended up being a really stressful pregnancy, We bought a house (or should i say I did) deposit was mine and mortgage is solely in my name due to partners bad credit. My employer then started treating me really poorly and to top it off my partner started to become extremely unreliable with work taking sick days and owing out hundreds of pounds.

Anyway, we made it through. I suffered terribly with PND and baby had undiagnosed reflux so it was a rough few first months.

My partner up until recently has still been squandering money which I believe to be for a prescription drug dependency.

He now works off shore so is away for half of the month. Financially this is great, but due to broken trust our relationship is just an utter misery. I dread him being home. I do everything with our little one plus clean up after his mess. (Simply because I can’t live in it)

Fastforward to now, I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. I can’t see our relationship lasting. I keep thinking it would be unfair to bring another life into a miserable household. I would be basically signing myself up to being a single parent of 2 and there is no way I could afford it. If we split I would have to sell my home.

But besides all of this I still cant help but think I may regret a termination. I keep telling myself its for the best and it probably is. I guess my question is can you ever be sure with a decision like this?

I would absolutely love more kids. Just not with my DP.

OP posts:
LaughterLentil · 13/03/2024 21:50

Your thought train is very valid. I was in a similar(ish) position but a decade older and made that same choice.

Allisfairinloveandwar · 13/03/2024 21:58

Feel for you my dear. There is no right or wrong answer to this so please take your time to think it through. Being a single mother to two babies is difficult and it takes time to get them to 18. But at the same time, the baby could be the someone great like Obama! Hope someone comes with a better answer for you 🥰🥰

heartbroken22 · 14/03/2024 05:13

You have a problem with your partner. I'd say get rid of your partner and maybe selling your house will be a good thing. But you never know your partner could change. Speak to him. I see the problem as the baby and not him. If you split up and had the baby I'm sure you'd get help from universal credit or something?

I'm saying this because I had a termination and like so many women on here have regretted it and still deal with the grief to this day even though I got pregnant 3 months later.

Don't carry the trauma from your previous pregnancy onto this pregnancy (that's what I did too) and look at it as something new. All pregnancies are different. I know alot of women that panicked with the age gap too but then both siblings get on so well.

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