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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Just to tell you..

9 replies

theprettywreckless · 07/03/2024 23:18

Just currently going through a period of sadness on reflection of my abortion. AIBU to tell you..?

I don’t know if it was a boy or girl, but in my head she was a girl. I call her Lux, which means light and is also the name of one of my favourite characters in one of the films I love. She would be 8 months now. Her birthday would have been 10/07/2023.

I know I chose this and I wouldn’t have been able to give my child a good life due to my mental illness but I miss them everyday and I just needed to vent.

OP posts:

Terfosaurus · 07/03/2024 23:25

Lux is a lovely name. I'm sorry you had to make that choice. I often think of my aborted babies too. They'd be in thir 20s. I couldn't have had them.

Be kind to yourself. I'm sure our babies know we love them.

Allofaflutter · 07/03/2024 23:31

I’m so very sorry for you.

Quorny · 07/03/2024 23:35

Mine would have been 19 now and I still think 'what if'.

Lux is a beautiful name. Massive hugs. Be good to yourself and vent as much as you like. Just because something was our choice it doesn't mean we can't grieve it or shouldn't have empathy for ourselves.

Zoeyclash · 07/03/2024 23:35

YANBU to tell us. Your feelings are totally understandable. Be kind to yourself. X

Ferfecksackmammy · 07/03/2024 23:36

Sending hugs, that must have been a difficult decision. Be kind to yourself.

SlipperyFish11 · 07/03/2024 23:38

Not that you need validation, but you made a selfless choice to cope with this loss rather than your child grow up in potentially difficult circumstances. I'm sorry you went through this. X

Blueberry101 · 08/03/2024 18:48

Not being unreasonable at all. I still grieve for my would-have-been first baby. I never knew if it was a boy or girl either, but feel it would have been a girl, their 40th birthday would have been on 10th March - which falls on mother's day this year.

I'm sorry you are going through this, sadly there are many of us who are. If we had the slightest idea beforehand of how difficult it is to live with I doubt we would have done it. 'Regret' just isn't strong enough word to describe the torment and anguish that follow. X

Quorny · 12/03/2024 08:43

@theprettywreckless how are you doing? Hope you are OK. Massive hugs again.

xsagestarsx · 26/03/2024 13:48

Hey @theprettywreckless.
You are so brave to tell us this! I am in your boat as I had a termination last year and made my decision for similar reasons to you; my mental health and also my existing children, our circumstances at the time, etc.
You did what you felt was the right thing to do and that is never wrong.
I hope you are taking care of yourself and finding peace x

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