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Pregnancy choices

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Pregnant early in relationship, no idea what to do

4 replies

PinkSeaOrangeSky · 07/03/2024 05:55

Just wondering if anyone can offer any words of advice or comfort, I can’t discuss with anyone in real life at the moment. Ive just found out I’m pregnant (test saying 1-2 weeks) and I feel totally paralysed in knowing what to do. Background is I’m 31, no kids though I had 2 terminations in my twenties, neither of which I’ve ever regretted. I have only been with my partner for a few months (though we live together so actually feels like longer) - he is very keen for us to have this baby. I’ve also told my mum and she thinks I should 100% continue. I know I’m stupid for getting pregnant (again) when I’m not sure it’s something I want, but here we are and now I feel totally overwhelmed and with a feeling of dread. My boyfriend is lovely but I don’t know if our relationship is even going to last this pregnancy, how can I when we’ve only been together for such a short space of time and half of it’s been totally honeymoon period. I feel like I’m overanalysing him at the moment trying to work out if I see us lasting, and then trying to separate my feelings for him from how I feel about being pregnant/being a mother in general. My mum keeps saying “there are no guarantees in life” which is true but this just feels like such a massive thing to commit to when I’m feeling so unsure. I felt trapped in a previous relationship and when I left him I had such a sense of freedom and like I had done the right thing for myself and I worry that by continuing this pregnancy I’m tying myself to another man. The only thing bringing me comfort is that I own my flat & have independence in that way, I guess the idea of relinquishing any freedom/independence is the thing that is getting to me the most as I feel it’s so hard won

OP posts:
ARABA8888 · 07/03/2024 18:51

Please just have the baby.

Elephantsareace · 09/03/2024 14:43

Please don't just have the baby.

You are being very sensible in thinking this through. You can't predict what will happen in your relationship, it may last, it may not, so focus on whether this feels the right time for you or not.

There is no right or wrong choice here.

All the best, whatever you decide.

heartbroken22 · 11/03/2024 05:15

You sound very anxious. It could be the start of peri natal anxiety but try calming yourself down. How do you feel on a good day without all these thoughts in your head? Write it down. Don't overthink your worries they may not happen. Focus on the now. You're in your early thirties. If you wait 5 years to get to know someone you'll be 35-36. What if it won't happen? Obviously it could happen but I'm just giving you possibilities.

Fatherbob · 20/03/2024 07:35

Worse case you end up on you own with a child. Is your boyfriend financially ok? Are you?

Would you be willing to potentially raise this child on your own?

Life can be scary but it’s also exciting. I don’t know your full present life but play out sensible scenarios and see where they take you.

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