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Pregnancy choices

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Stuck between a rock and a hard place

7 replies

Nousernamesavaliable · 27/02/2024 20:28

I am approx 7 weeks pregnant. Unplanned.
I have issues conceiving and was told I would not be able to again.
Partner would rather not have another child but has said its totally my decision and he will support what I decide.
I have always wanted a second child.
However, this could not have came at a worse time. My son will be starting school in September and I have just had my hours changed to term time which I am very lucky to have got in my job role and am slightly increasing them. I am.just getting a little bit of my life back for want of a better phrase.
I love my son with my total being - but it has been very hard, very difficult pregnancy, traumatic birth, a year of significant health conditions so on but now there is light and we are having so much fun together.
Money is the main issue for my doubt- partner is self employed and it has been a tough 4 months, we are managing and there is a little wiggle room but at the expensive of reduce "fun money" ie swimming lessons, day trips, soft play, cafe lunch etc.
Maternity pay will be a struggle.
My son would miss out on some of what he is used to occasionally.
I'm 35 and this would be my last chance to have 2 children.
I am also terrified of the pregnancy journey and if the same was to happen again. I had PND after my son and it took a long time to get better.
All I can think of is the negatives to this, I feel no connection to being pregnant although I following all medical advice whilst trying to reach a decision.
Can I really go back to the baby stage again and care for 2 children.
I don't just have me to consider in this now and am feeling such mum guilt for my

What would you do in my situation?

OP posts:
heartbroken22 · 27/02/2024 21:27

You sound like you have perinatal anxiety. I'd speak to a doctor or midwife to see if you can get some counselling.

All these worries u have I had the same. In fact I took on other peoples worries etc like omg how will we fit in the car, how will we go on holiday. I only realised after the termination they were all foolish. I got pregnant again 3 months later out of guilt and now that baby is here and 7 months we just cope. You will too. You just adjust here and there to save money. Batch cooking, wear your clothes a bit more, buy less clothes, eat out less, walk more, use what you have etc etc

Your fear of having another difficult pregnancy and traumatic birth I had the same. My second pregnant was very tough with sickness and last minute breech. My next pregnancy I aborted because of those fear again but the pregnancy after that everything was fine.

I had a lot of guilt when I got pregnant with 2nd fearing that the joy of being 3 would be taken away but it was even more fun with us being 4...you just adapt and cope...it's human nature..

Fun money will be there maybe not so often but you will find pride and joy in other things. We discovered our library and museum which are free when our child was 6. Before we paid to go everywhere. The national trust stuff is there. We go on group on for soft play etc.

Would your son be sad he missed out on all those things (slight exaggeration I'm sure he could do those things but less often)or would he want a sibling?

I had pnd with first and it wasn't there with second but here with 3rd with a little bit of post natal anxeity...because you've had it before you know what to do and go to the doctors etc...you'll handle it better. I understand your fear...I really do...but remember it's the pregnancy hormones making u more anxious that you are...

The baby stage seems so long with your first... I can't remember it with my 2nd and third it went so fast because your first also had your attention and keeps u busy...if u think about it it's such a short stage. The first 6 weeks are hard but you get past them. You've done it before it will be easier.

I'd sit down and list all the pros and cons. I'd think about how you'd feel if baby wasn't there anymore and what if u couldn't get pregnant again. I'd also talk to a councillor. I'd also ask your son how he would feel if he had a new sibling. Don't ever base your decision on money. You could be a millionaire and plan 7 kids and have them then be homeless tomorrow. That's life. You don't know what's going to happen but you can take a risk for joy.

Lunamoon28 · 28/02/2024 10:16

In the same position, found out yesterday im 4 weeks pregnant. I already have a 5year old
who I adore more than anything.

Ive just qualified in my job and now earn a great living. I never wanted another child one was always enough for me. I’m also 35 and my husband would love another baby - but I don’t.

I had terrible PND and was diagnosed with BDD and OCD and I’ve just got all that under control.
i also was using protection.. and clearly it didn’t work I also have stage 4 endo so this literally was a shock.

my first thought was; I don’t want this. And I’ve reached out to BPAS already - so I know I’m answering my own question.

however; there is that 1% of me - that’s like what if. And in my opinion it’s not enough to carry on with it.

it’s literally an awful position to be in.

Nousernamesavaliable · 28/02/2024 15:17

I reached out also and have been an they have given me the tablets to use at home...yet I still can't bring myself to do it.
This sounds horrendous..but I wish I didn't have to make this decision myself. I don't no if I can live woth the guilt of abortion and wondering what if.
My son is my absolute world, I just really don't think I can do this again - I have more than just me to consider, I don't want to end up in the same situation I was last time.

I've buried my head in the sand well and truly.

OP posts:
Lunamoon28 · 28/02/2024 17:28

No, I totally understand it’s such a hard hard decision. I think for me, I know this is what I want to do. I’m 100% I don’t want another baby - and when it’s something like this you have to be 100% sure either way.

you’re allowed to bury your head, it’s natural - your trying to process being pregnant and all the additional emotions you’re feeling.

I would give your self time to just sit with yourself and ask ‘what do you really want?’

My appointment is next week and I’m dead set on it; but I’m glad I have this week to reallY understand and process the decision I’m about to make - because either way you go; it can’t be undone - you just have to decide which way to go.

and do what’s best for you! You won’t be the first and you won’t be the last ♥️
I don’t need anyone else to understand why im
doing what I’m doing as long as it makes sense to me.

im here if you need a chat.

heartbroken22 · 01/03/2024 13:01

Whatever you do please go through counselling BEFORE you start taking the pills. I regret that I didn't . It will help immensely whatever you choose.

Lunamoon28 · 01/03/2024 16:44

I agree. whatever you decide - try and speak to someone.
I know through BPAS they offer before and after counselling

Nousernamesavaliable · 03/03/2024 06:56

I woke up to some bleeding at the start of the week and I have gone on to have a miscarriage. I'm absolutely heartbroken 💔

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