Medical abortion - 9 weeks and 6 days

[JLF99]

Hi everyone,

I have recently had a medical abortion. I found out I was pregnant around the 7 week mark but due to Christmas and availability I was not able to have the abortion straight away.

I already have 2 children, and my main concerns were how I would cope, we have also undergone lots of change to our family life recently and I thought a new baby would add to this and make life even more of a struggle.

I wanted to ask all of you lovely people a few questions.

Firstly, is there anybody who has had a medical abortion at this gestation what would be willing to talk?

Secondly, if there is anybody who has had an abortion and felt that they regretted it instantly & wished they could turn the clock back?

And thirdly, to ask anybody who has experienced this how they deal with the grief / loss of the abortion?

I would also like to add, that if anybody feels they are in a similar situation and would like any questions or concerns then I would be happy to support / answer,

Thank you very much

Hi lovely,

Sorry nobody has replied! There are many threads like yours on this site about the utter devastation having an abortion has caused. I keep looking at them for support ☹️ I too wish I could turn back the clock, it is actually all consuming ☹️

I am completely pro choice, but having an abortion at 8 weeks has completely sent almost every aspect of my life into a tail spin for the last 18 months. I like you have 2 children and all I could focus on was how I was ruining things for them, how this wasn’t planned, how I was too old and other peoples opinions 🤦‍♀️ None of this mattered and it was so cruel that I could see this almost instantly afterwards. I am so filled with anger towards myself and the people who should have been helping me. The counsellors at the clinic downplayed the emotional side afterwards, told me it would just be clots - I saw the sac and it was devastating. They said I would feel relief but all I feel my was “what have I done?! ☹️” I hesitated and asked for more counselling, they obliged but just kept reminding me of the reasons I had given them.

We have been trying to conceive again, as it’s the only thing that’s going to make this black cloud go away. I’m also on medication for anxiety, feel ready this time and want another chance more than anything. Unfortunately it’s nearly been a year and we haven’t been able to. Life is hard, and sometimes you make the wrong choice. Hope you’re okay ❤️

Hi... I'm feeling the same now and can't believe I even feel like this I was so sure and not I'm not yet I can't go backwards

Thank you both for your responses. I think the worst part for me is how visual it was, I saw the baby that I was carrying with arms and legs, and I felt instantly regretful and sad.

I have come to the realisation nearly 10 days on that i am going to think about it every day, but everything happens for a reason, I keep trying to remind myself why I done it in the first place. I have made a promise with myself that I am going to commit to myself and make my life better in the hope this will ease the guilt.

Poor you, I am sorry you are going through this. I am five months post abortion, and gradually the grief / guilt is getting better. It doesn't consume me as much as it did. I have thrown myself into my work, do lots with my daughter (loads of snuggling on the couch, trips on our own, making meals together) and lots of family holidays. What works for me is reminding myself of what I have, rather than what I've lost. Oh and I also started therapy and anti-depressants. Annoyingly though I think time is the key factor here. You will be absolutely fine I promise, the clouds do clear. Message me if you'd like to talk.

Hi,

I know this it’s an old thread but I just wanted to say that everything you said resonates with me soo much that I just had to write.

From your initial reasons to the regret afterwards, how graphic the process was ( and I was only 6 weeks, never expected to see the sack and it has traumatised me for life! ) and the feeling that I could have been warned about and that perhaps someone could have recognised that I was a hormonal mess whilst making a decision.

Anyway, I just wanted to reach out and see how you’re doing now. Have you managed to get pregnant again or have you found a different way to deal with the pain and regret?