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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Late abortion

7 replies

Tabbycat3 · 09/01/2024 22:58

Im 17 week pregnant and i dont think i can carry on this pregnancy. My mental health is in bits.
to start it was planned i was with my partner of 6.5 and would be our second we already have a 5 year old daughter. I thought it was something we both wanted he was even the one to tell me to get my coil out. We lost a multiple before falling pregnant this time and i thought everything was ok, two days after finding out he left us. One minute he was telling me he loved me and the next he didnt come home and said he didnt want a relationship anymore this was a couple of months ago now and the man i love is gone well and truly i have been destroyed, betrayed and broken in every way a person can be, he even turned around and said he didnt want the first ( our 5 year old) and didnt want this one. After saying lets try hes said he didnt have the guts to say no but i always said to him id rather keep and be happy with what iv got now (6.5 relationship + 5year old daughter) than lose it all to bring a baby into a broken home. Iv not been certain on this pregnancy since he left and the way he acts just reinforces that i can not raise a baby with him, hes not the same man who helped raised our daughter, hes cold and cruel and gone. I had to cry to him today to just come off his phone and play with our daughter for a bit because that baby just wants her dadda she begs him to come home and stay. Im broken mentally and physically and the only thing keeping me going is my daughter everything i do is for her she is my reason i get up in the morning she is the source of my smile. I dont think i can have another and still be that, i feel no connection to this baby its just like theres and imposter inside me. I had ppd for a while after my daughter but i also had a partner and support at the time. I do not have that now iv begged him to move in when the baby comes and he wont. Im already so broken mentally that a baby does not deserve to have a mum that has no connection no want for it. I need to be 100% for my daughter she deserves that at the least and i know having another i will not be able to do that. I dont know how id cope mentally, physically, financially. Itd be different if i was still with their dad but he doesnt want a relationship iv got no hope of him coming back and i cant afford to lose myself when my daughter needs me i cant do that to her she comes first no matter what.

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kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 04:35

I've actually no words, but I'm so sorry.

You make the decision that's right for you.

He's a total cunt.

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Tabbycat3 · 10/01/2024 08:57

It aint even the half of it aswell. Hes 28 and a couple of weeks after leaving me he paid for a hotel room and slept with a 17 year old co worker lied to everyone including his mum and didnt admit it until i was sent picture from said girl of her ontop of him in their underwear calling me a shit girlfriend and a single unemployed mother. I did everything for him his cooking, cleaning, washing, i brought him treats whenever i went to shops his only chore was to take the bins out once a week. i loved him unconditionally we never really argued and even after it all i still love him im kind i still cook him dinner whenever hes here and pick up treats for him. He turned around and said he doesnt know if he ever loved me and for my own sanity i cant believe it i cant believe that someone i loved with ever fiber of my being didnt love me back for 6.5years i couldn’t have be that naive surely and he said he doesnt know if he loves our daughter and that she feels like an obligation. He was never like that he used to be so loving and caring but i dont think i can raise a baby and beg for its father to care and im so mentally messed up right now im scared i wont love it either and thats not fair to the baby it didnt ask for this. Im trying to do whats best snd be the best mumma to my little girl because she deserves the world and i know she wants her little brother but she doesnt understand how much it would destroy me.

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kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 08:59

Tabbycat3 · 10/01/2024 08:57

It aint even the half of it aswell. Hes 28 and a couple of weeks after leaving me he paid for a hotel room and slept with a 17 year old co worker lied to everyone including his mum and didnt admit it until i was sent picture from said girl of her ontop of him in their underwear calling me a shit girlfriend and a single unemployed mother. I did everything for him his cooking, cleaning, washing, i brought him treats whenever i went to shops his only chore was to take the bins out once a week. i loved him unconditionally we never really argued and even after it all i still love him im kind i still cook him dinner whenever hes here and pick up treats for him. He turned around and said he doesnt know if he ever loved me and for my own sanity i cant believe it i cant believe that someone i loved with ever fiber of my being didnt love me back for 6.5years i couldn’t have be that naive surely and he said he doesnt know if he loves our daughter and that she feels like an obligation. He was never like that he used to be so loving and caring but i dont think i can raise a baby and beg for its father to care and im so mentally messed up right now im scared i wont love it either and thats not fair to the baby it didnt ask for this. Im trying to do whats best snd be the best mumma to my little girl because she deserves the world and i know she wants her little brother but she doesnt understand how much it would destroy me.

Please seek help from friends, family, medical workers, anyone and everyone. Contact women's aid.

He's just vile.

I'm so sorry.

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Tabbycat3 · 10/01/2024 09:04

I have talking therapy from nhs, and i have counselling with bpas before i decide anything for good. Iv got 1 friend ( they all left after i had my daughter) and iv told my mum how i feel but i dont think i can tell the rest of my family i think theyd be disgusted and disappointed in me for getting an abortion but honestly i just trying to do whats best for me and my daughter if i could keep it and know id be mentally stable and financially okay and i felt a connection to it i would x

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kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 09:41

Please don't think I am judging your decision, whatever you make, I'm just saying whatever you decide you will need support.

Do you have any family?

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kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 09:51

kisstheblarney · 10/01/2024 09:41

Please don't think I am judging your decision, whatever you make, I'm just saying whatever you decide you will need support.

Do you have any family?

Sorry you do have family, please reach out to them.

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Unblossomedflower · 01/03/2024 00:40

@Tabbycat3 I know this is a couple months ago now. But I wanted to reach out to you. I'm also feeling exactly how your feeling and I'm 15 weeks today :(
How are you feeling now? If you don't mind me asking what was the outcome? I hope your doing okay x

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