should i tell my bf i’m in therapy because of abortion?

[louise2019x]

Hey everyone

I’ve been struggling with the decision to end my pregnancy back in July and have made the choice to go to post termination counselling. I’ve done it because I snapped at him a few weeks ago over something silly but it was because what he said trigged my emotions and brought me back to the abortion so i wanted to try learn how to live with my decision and control my emotions. I want to tell him so he knows i’m doing the work to be me again and also so he knows the impact a decision like that had on me, but i’m scared he will see me as weak or mentally unwell for needing counselling and then leave me. What would you do?

I think you should tell him because you do not want to be with someone who you cannot be vulnerable with. At least I wouldn’t.

I will share why - me and my OH had an unexpected pregnancy and were exploring our options. I had a termination in my last relationship, he knew about this. The past termination was affecting my decision and thinking during this pregnancy and I was offered post abortion support to explore the past termination and also for a hand hold whist I made the decision.

I didn’t tell my OH that I had councelling and wish I did. Even if it’s for peace of mind when I’m walking out of the house and I don’t need to lie about my whereabouts.

One evening (I was still pregnant) we watched a show on channel 4 about couples getting councelling and it was the first time we openly spoke about our thoughts on councelling. He even suggested we do it as a couple he could see that I was changing.

All men are different but maybe get his thoughts in councelling first if you are afraid to tell him and then let him know. If he is a good person he should understand why you are doing it.

thank you so much for your reply and i’m glad you and your husband can openly talk about what you’ve went through.

He has talked about him going to counselling in the past so i know he is open to it but i’m worried he sees it as a weakness.

Its a tough one i have fears of abandonment so the idea of telling him and him leaving scare me but i also want to be open and honest and let him know what happened did affect me and it’s not something to just brush under the carpet and it goes away.

urg don’t know what to do thank you for your experience xx

I completely understand where you are coming from.

It’s reassuring that he has gone through it. It might make it easier to talk about it.

I do hope you find what’s right for you. Maybe you could raise it in one of your sessions if appropriate?