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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Unhappy with pregnancy

1 reply

Atypicalmumm · 22/12/2023 20:19

im really sorry if I offend anyone who has trouble trying to convince or would be offended by this.

but I found out this week that I am pregnant, VERY unexpectedly. I have a DS who is 2.5 and lovely but hard work! I went back to work when he was 9months as we brought our first house and run out of money doing it up. I didn’t plan on having another baby, or really want to consider another until my DS was 5/6. but here I am!
my partner is so excited, over the moon. But I am not, I feel like I just am not ready and had so much I wanted to do first (progress in my career, travel etc) and also enjoy time with just us and our son!
I had quite a traumatic birth/after birth and then got really bad post natal depression, intrusive thoughts and anxiety that nearly ruined our relationship & made me a distant mum. I only decided to contact my GP under a year ago because it had got so bad I couldn’t function with daily life and went on AD’s. I couldn’t do this again so soon and risk getting like that all over again, the thought scares me so much and all I can think about is how suicidal it made me and this wouldn’t be fair on my son.
we would also be super tight with money (since our mortgage has gone up so much in two years, and everything else) and I just don’t want to live like that, hence me wanting to progress in work.

im really stuck on what to do, we had an abortion 4 years ago as we was only 19 and I wasn’t ready but again my partner was so gutted. How would I do this to him again and how would it affect our relationship. Would I regret it this time if I did because I remember feeling guilty last time even though it was right for me.

sorry I’ve made this so long I just can’t stop crying and thinking I’d be okay if I miscarry so I don’t have to make the decision.

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Saskia2023 · 28/12/2023 14:44

sorry no one has replied. i would really access some counselling to help you process your emotions and explore what you want as it sounds like such a whirlwind of emotions. If you contact someone like bpas they will be able to organise something. And agree about wanting to miscarry as means the decsiion is taken out of your hands. wishing you love as its such a diifficult decision and almost harder once you have kids x

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