Sorry for the very long winded post but I feel it’s best to give all info. I have been with my partner years, we have a 17 month old baby girl and recently found out we have another on the way. I want to point out that he wanted the second so soon after the first. I was happy with 1.
a recurring argument in our household is that he does nothing around the house. He is very much “old fashioned” as in he believes I should do the laundry,cooking,cleaning,shopping, brining up children….all fine if I was a stay at home mum, but I also work.
a few weeks after I had our first I found out he had a drug addiction to which gave me MASSIVE anxiety with leaving my child anywhere around him or any of his friends/family. He has since packed it all in as well as smoking/vaping and pretty much doesn’t drink now either. Which I’m very thankful for but doesn’t get rid of the anxiety that’s instilled in me now.
id say around 8 months after I gave birth he started calling me names repeatedly like misery/miservale/boring/tramp/scruff/ happy ( sarcastic)
I am anything but a tramp or a scruff and I like things neat and tidy but I think he knows this and is trying to play mind games to make me think I’m not doing enough housework. I’ve asked friends and family (those that will give me the truth) and they’ve said the house is clean and tidy. Obviously things get a bit untidy with toys but they get tidied away once she’s finished playing.
ive asked him to stop calling me these names and let him know how they make me feel and he stops for a few weeks/month and starts again.
its at the point where I now get in a panic when I realise the time and know hell soon be home and have a mad dash of hoovering double checking everything is pristine.
today he started with the usual your boring all you do is sit on the sofa ( I wish) so I challenged him to ask what he does etc to which he “ had no answers”
he then got agressive. I told him to shut up as our daughter was in the room he didn’t so I left the room, he then followed me still shouting and eventually left the room after i literally stopped responding to him.
later on I asked him to sit down and we need to talk about what we were doing to do. We’ve had this argument many a time nothing ever changes so clearly something needs to be done about it. I basically said in a roundabout way , is this it? Are we calling it a day? Do I need to call the doctors to see about abortions? He was non responsive just messing on in the kitchen so I asked again. I mean I was literally breaking my heart at this situation I find myself in - uncontrollable sobbing and he just said “ well it looks that way” and walked out the door. Came back in a minute later and demanded I take our child around to see his mother. I just can’t get over how vile that is of someone to literally look at someone breaking their heart and show no emotion and walk out the door without even a comforting word.
He then proceeded to call me a nasty bitch when I said I wouldn’t be going to his mums today in this state and I’d go tomorrow. ( pointing out his mam is terminally ill )
so I then felt bad so off I went to his mums and had to play happy families for 2 hours whilst trying to fight back the tears.
do you think the above constitutes as emotional abuse?