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Pregnancy choices


7 replies

mumtumok · 24/11/2023 08:45

Hi , I was sceptical about posting but I have read some other threads and realised it does offer guidance and support.
long story short I am 7 weeks pregnant roughly with my 3rd baby. I have 2 sons 2& nearly 4. They both have special needs (ASD) and yes I can stuggle sometimes , sometimes I cry , sometimes I feel like I’m on top on the world and I’ve got this shit in the bag. I’m young , I’ve been with my partner since school , we have our ups and downs but we are happy. He works so I’m home with the boys all day. We’ve spoken about our options. We’ve layed out the pros and cons of having another baby. I’ve never been one for abortions( not that I judge) but we kind of decided that it wouldn’t be the right time. As time goes on I still can’t bring myself to make the phone call

OP posts:
Singlemum20222 · 24/11/2023 14:48

If you can’t bring yourself to make the phone call, trust whatever feeling that is. Don’t force yourself to do something you may regret later down the line. I’ve been there and done that, my situation is slightly different because I was 18 and was forced into it by my parents but it was an awful thing to go through and it never leaves you.
Abortion is a trauma for a lot of women, but a child is a blessing (even if it may not feel like it right now!) it’s good that you are in a stable relationship, I say go for it x

mumtumok · 24/11/2023 15:45

@Singlemum20222 Thank you for your reply - I appreciate you taking the time too. Sorry that you went through that, I’m 22. I had my first son at 18 & my second at 20. Children are blessings I agree. Xxx

OP posts:
Bart84 · 24/11/2023 23:03

I’m in a similar situation - found out I’m unexpectedly 5weeks pregnant today.
within 30mins I referred myself for a medical abortion.

I have 2 children - one with complex needs who attends special school & another who was extremely poorly at birth & has had subsequent issues.

my husband & I couldn’t cope with another. It wouldn’t be fair on our children or ourselves.

i don’t know how I’ll feel afterwards but I know in my gut this is the right realistic decision.

I love babies & our children but life is already too big for our hands & we have minimal
support around us.

mumtumok · 25/11/2023 04:50

@Bart84 may I ask how your refered via hospital ect?

OP posts:
mumtumok · 25/11/2023 05:55

I too need to think realistically. Mentally , financially and physically it would be a strain . My youngest wouldn’t cope very well, he’s still brestfed and very much mummy’s little baby

OP posts:
Bart84 · 25/11/2023 09:07

I’m in NI so it’s only became legal here in 2020. I rang bpas & they will refer me to my local trust & it will go from there.

Google bpas - they work through all of UK.

SnowySpa · 26/11/2023 14:10

If you decide that having an abortion doesn't sit right with you, that's okay. It's a big risk since you can't really know how it will affect you later. Many women do learn to live with it, but many are grieving and wish they could go back in time and choose differently. If you decide you want this little girl or boy, maybe your husband would agree to get a vasectomy and then you would not have to worry about any more surprises or birth control for the rest of your marriage. I was the oldest of three children and we got along well and enjoyed playing together. Now that we're grown, the youngest sibling is my best friend and understands me better than anyone I know. Your two-year-old would probably be weaned by the time the next baby arrived and you can still let him know he's special to you as always. My friend who had four boys used to give them each a night of the week where they had time just with her, even just twenty or thirty minutes, so they felt special. I always thought that was a nice idea. It's up to you to decide if you would like to add to your family, or if there are too many reasons not to. But first decide what your beliefs and priorities are, since it's such an important choice. Don't make the choice out of fear or pressure. All my best to you.

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