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Pregnancy choices

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Original poster

Hiding a surgical abortion

28 replies

eujk · 21/11/2023 14:36

I was about to end up my relationship with DB when I find out I was pregnant. DB has been having drugs for the last 6 months to the point he's consuming daily. He won't accept he's an addict.

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I knew I should have an abortion when I found out. I even called the clinic but I didn't collect the pills. I never thought I'd be in that position and I was scared. I thought I'd regret my decision. I thought I could have a child and that DB would change. I was in denial. He won't change and he's getting worse to the point I don't trust him and I don't feel safe around him. I've seen so many red flags in the last weeks and I know I HAVE to run away ASAP

I do want to have an abortion, I don't want to be linked to this person in any way. I can't tell him about the abortion because I'm scared of his reaction so I'll tell I had a miscarriage (I know it's disgusting and I apologise because I know is a very sensitive topic). I worry he'd find out it was an abortion (surgical) what can I say/do so he won't find out?

I'm having the procedure on Thursday but I'll be living in the same house until December when I move to my new place. I have no family in the UK so I can't go to anyone else's house.

I just want to have the abortion without him or his family knowing, say I miscarriged and get away from him. I'm scared.

OP posts:
Devonshiregal · 21/11/2023 16:40

The only way he can find out is if you accidentally leave evidence of the appointment somewhere or this thread.

Youll have to be there a lot of the day. And not eat or drink from a certain time usually midnight no eating and 6am no drinking depending on what time they think you’ll be in.

my experience was that it all felt quite weird and back alley even though it wasn’t obviously. (I can only imagine how awful it is to have an actual illegal abortion.)

Mine was at a clinic in a large detached house building.
Got there early at 8am.
Had to have a scan - you can ask to not see the screen if you want but do it before because mine just showed me it without thinking seemingly.
Then I sat around and was taken into a room where there was some doctor standing there already masked up and some, I guess, nurses.
I “hopped up” on the table and lay down. They put the mask on me for general anaesthetic. I counted back from 10 and was out.
Then woke up some time later on a reclining chair in a room with 5 other women on reclining chairs who were also coming round from GA.
They shoved some kind of antibiotic pessary up the back passage to help prevent infection when I was still under GA.
Got given a sandwich which I selected before hand. And say eating it in a room with some of these other women (one of which wouldn’t shut up about how good she felt - wanted to throttle her)
Then left.
I was bleeding - they give you a weird nappy type one that gets hooked up by a suspender type thing so you’ll want to dispose of that if there’s a chance he could see it (if you’re pretending you miscarried you won’t need to)
i needed sanitary towels for like a few days or a week after - can’t remember now.
Felt crappy and ill from anaesthetic that evening. Generally fine the next day.

They will be reluctant to let you leave unless you’re with someone so you’ll need to book a taxi - or say you have and pretend your taxi is outside - but bus would feel crap when recovering from GA. Also say someone is at home to be with you. preferably you actually would have someone with you.

I know I didn’t make that sound like a good experience but as it goes, it really wasn’t bad. Just very quick over and done with.

You could just go have it done, make your way to the hospital (one with a&e), call him when you’re there and say “I had a miscarriage” and get him to pick you up at the hospital - wearing your hospital issue nappy for credibility.

it’s not ideal but needs must - I had an abusive boyfriend and as much as I still have sadness about the abortionsit isn’t something I regret because he would have been a horrible person to have kids with and a terrible father and I’d have been abused forever by him.

The absolute BEST thing would be for you to get as far away from him as possible as soon as possible.

you’ll be ok.

Original poster
eujk · 21/11/2023 17:07

Devonshiregal · 21/11/2023 16:40

The only way he can find out is if you accidentally leave evidence of the appointment somewhere or this thread.

Youll have to be there a lot of the day. And not eat or drink from a certain time usually midnight no eating and 6am no drinking depending on what time they think you’ll be in.

my experience was that it all felt quite weird and back alley even though it wasn’t obviously. (I can only imagine how awful it is to have an actual illegal abortion.)

Mine was at a clinic in a large detached house building.
Got there early at 8am.
Had to have a scan - you can ask to not see the screen if you want but do it before because mine just showed me it without thinking seemingly.
Then I sat around and was taken into a room where there was some doctor standing there already masked up and some, I guess, nurses.
I “hopped up” on the table and lay down. They put the mask on me for general anaesthetic. I counted back from 10 and was out.
Then woke up some time later on a reclining chair in a room with 5 other women on reclining chairs who were also coming round from GA.
They shoved some kind of antibiotic pessary up the back passage to help prevent infection when I was still under GA.
Got given a sandwich which I selected before hand. And say eating it in a room with some of these other women (one of which wouldn’t shut up about how good she felt - wanted to throttle her)
Then left.
I was bleeding - they give you a weird nappy type one that gets hooked up by a suspender type thing so you’ll want to dispose of that if there’s a chance he could see it (if you’re pretending you miscarried you won’t need to)
i needed sanitary towels for like a few days or a week after - can’t remember now.
Felt crappy and ill from anaesthetic that evening. Generally fine the next day.

They will be reluctant to let you leave unless you’re with someone so you’ll need to book a taxi - or say you have and pretend your taxi is outside - but bus would feel crap when recovering from GA. Also say someone is at home to be with you. preferably you actually would have someone with you.

I know I didn’t make that sound like a good experience but as it goes, it really wasn’t bad. Just very quick over and done with.

You could just go have it done, make your way to the hospital (one with a&e), call him when you’re there and say “I had a miscarriage” and get him to pick you up at the hospital - wearing your hospital issue nappy for credibility.

it’s not ideal but needs must - I had an abusive boyfriend and as much as I still have sadness about the abortionsit isn’t something I regret because he would have been a horrible person to have kids with and a terrible father and I’d have been abused forever by him.

The absolute BEST thing would be for you to get as far away from him as possible as soon as possible.

you’ll be ok.

Thank you for sharing your experience @Devonshiregal .

I'm having just local anestesia so I hope it's even quicker in my case.

OP posts:
Babyghirl · 20/11/2024 20:21

eujk · 21/11/2023 17:07

Thank you for sharing your experience @Devonshiregal .

I'm having just local anestesia so I hope it's even quicker in my case.

Show quote history

How did you find it with just local, I'm booked for Friday and just looking anything to ease my mind.

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