Possible termination

[LBNM19]

I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant after conceiving a baby that I thought I wanted. I have been extremely unwell and have hyperemesis gravidarum and a subchronic haematoma.

The subchronic haematoma keeps randomly making me poor with blood to the point it covers my trousers etc and in between that I’m bleeding brown blood.

The hyperemesis has left me bed bound and I’ve ended up in hospital needing IV fluids.

I feel broken.

On top of that I will need a fifth C-section and I’m really starting to panic about this. I feel like I’m already experiencing such ill health and I don’t know if my body is strong enough to go through another C-section. I keep thinking I’m going to die if I go though with this pregnancy. I have contacted my consultant to try and speak to her about my concerns.

On the other hand the thought of termination feels me with dread and I know that my partner will be devastated however this is something I thought about on and off for the last few weeks.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Have others been though the same? Had the same thoughts etc?

I appreciate any replies.

Im not suprised you are feeling so horrendous but it honestly sounds like you want the termination to stop feeling so rubbish not because you dont want the baby.so many people even with easy pregnancies have that feeling of do i want this as the reality hits and you will have this a billion times worse because of the phyical stress your body is under. So its worth thinking about is it that you want to be feeling better rather than not wanting the pregnancy. definately discuss with the cosultant what more they can do to help you sustain things

I did want a baby but I honestly don’t think I do anymore. I feel nothing, no bond just total dread.

How unwell I have been has played a big part but it’s also made me realise that I don’t think I can cope.

I’ve called a clinic and I’m going to speak to them about a termination. I’m scared and I know I’m going to feel guilty but I can’t carry on like this anymore.

Oh my, those are big health concerns, I'm so sorry you have all this to deal with. Keep talking to your doctor about the risks you are facing. Could a planned c-section, maybe a few weeks premature be an option so that your uterus does not get as stretched? If it turns out it is a risk to your life and you cannot successfully carry the pregnancy it sounds like it's not your fault and you did the best you could. Just get all the info you can so you can make your best decision. Good luck dear, hope better days are soon ahead.