Abortion failure - continued pregnancy

[Picklest21]

Hello, i had a medical abortion at 8 weeks through bpas, I passed some large clots and bled for a few days so thought everything had gone as it should, I did the pregnancy test that they sent 3 weeks later which turned out positive, contacted bpas and went to a clinic for an assessment, they told me I was still pregnant and now 14 weeks I couldn’t believe it.
She said the baby was absolutely fine although I couldn’t bring my self to look at the scan and have been lost with my thoughts.
I have been referred to a hospital near me next week for an appointment to discuss my options as I was told moving forward I would have to have a surgical abortion, but I am feeling so confused now. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do but I booked s private scan last night and saw the baby today and everything is fine this has just made me feel even worste.
I feel at the time i took the tablets for the medical abortion it was the right thing to do due to my circumstances, I’m currently back at my mums with my little Boy who is almost 3, it’s been a very up and down relationship between his father and me for a long time, I really love him but I don’t know if things will
ever work and I came to the conclusion that a new baby on my own with my son would not be the best for everyone, but fast forward to now I feel as though it’s a bit different as it seems more real.
im sorry for the long post but I am really confused, nobody knows I am pregnant other than my ex partner so feel like I have no one to speak to, I just just don’t what to do, I feel like everything is differnt now and it’s more real and I don’t know if I could live with myself going ahead with a termination this far down the line but I also don’t know how I could live with another baby? I am just feeling really lost and I don’t know what to think 😞

really sorry to hear about your experience and what a horrendous thing to be going through. i would phone bpas and see if they can get you some urgent counselling as you need to process what happened and to help you make a decision and then process what happens next. if they can't speak with you this week, teying ARCH or Stillwaters, both charities that can provide support with making a decision. you need to speak to someone netural who can help you process everything. wish you all the best x

Thank you so much, I will call bpas tomorrow and see if I can speak to someone x

How are you? What I'd say is if your confused and are having doubts don't do it. Only do it if you're sure. I aborted baby at 8 weeks but wasn't so lucky that it lived. I prayed and prayed but it didn't happen. Then got pregnant again 3 months later and now have a beautiful baby girl. The grief from the termination is still there.

Can I ask did you take both pills?

Hello, sorry I have only just replied, the last few days have been really hard.
Yes I took both lots of tablets, I took the first one on the Thursday evening but before I’d even inserted the second lot I had started off bleeding in the morning on the Saturday then by the afternoon I passed quite a large clot type thing and this was all before I’d inserted the next lot so and then bled for a few days which is why I was so shocked, the lady at bpas that scanned me said it could have been abit of old clots, I thought I would just be going in to be told it was some retained product.
But anyway, I attended an appointment at the hospital yesterday and it was awful, the staff was all lovely but my head was just all over, and I was told that if I wanted to go ahead with the termination I would have to go in and go through labour as such and considering I am this far on 15 weeks and 4 days I was measuring they explained it can be a very traumatic experience which i obviously didn’t think it would be very nice at all but I have spent hours and hours reading threads on here of people who have had to go through that due to baby health issues and it has just made me feel even worste that I could even consider going through with that when the baby is healthy, I don’t think I could cope with it.
They said if I want to go ahead with the termination I would have to go in sundsy and then back Tuesday so feel i need to make a decision.
I haven't been able to bring my self to tell my parents yet but I feel as though I am wanting to go ahead with the baby and I think I need to make the decision for my self without the outside pressure? I just feel they may be disappointed with me for even being in this situation but I think I can make it work, I feel as though what if it’s meant to be and I am meant to have this baby?
I love being s mum and I always said I would love to have two before circumstances changed so I don’t know, I feel as though I can make it work??
Im sorry for the long post but I really am so confused with all of this but feeling like going ahead with the baby is what I want to do xxx

Hi Picklest21,
I’m only replying now because your post seems not so long ago and I really hope things have worked out for you, whatever you chose to do.
I had a medical abortion a long time ago when they had only just become ‘a thing’ I think. My GP rushed my referral through and I had it done at my local hospital - I had to take the first tablet in front of them & promise to go back immediately if I vomited. Then I had to go to hospital and stay all day on a hospital ward with a lot of other women in the same position. Nurses inserted the vaginal tablets and kept an eye on everyone. We weren’t allowed to use the toilet and flush till they checked and they also needed to check the pads. I felt lucky to be in hospital and it was good I was under their care because I ended up fainting and they had to bleep a consultant and I had to be flat on my back for hours because my blood pressure had dropped. In the end I was allowed home and I was very glad I had been checked over. I bled and had discharge for more than a month. I am not very happy with the new trend of being allowed to do all this at home. I think it is anxiety inducing and obviously in some cases doesn’t go well. I am really hoping you are ok.
Why am I looking here you may wonder. I’m here because my youngest daughter is possibly about to go through the same thing if she decides to end her unplanned pregnancy and I wanted to check what the procedure is like now because I want to be there for her. I think I’m leaning towards advising her to ask for the surgical procedure if they will give it. Of course cynically I’m sure they will encourage the pill route as it’s cheaper, no doubt, but I just don’t like the idea of women being put through this pain and anxiety. Obviously the surgical procedure isn’t a walk in the park but hopefully they check you better. Once again I hope things have worked out for you and wishing you all the best.

@heartbroken22 how is it now with a 3rd one ? If you could go back in time would you have waited longer than 3 months before trying again .?

@Regretttt I enjoy having three kids. Some days are hard some days are joy and some days are extremely joyful. I didn't want to wait because I just prayed to God to 'bring me back my baby'. It was a mental/emotional thing.

I think there's some sort of stigma with having a third child. I'm not sure why I was so scared. You just adjust and it levels out having two. I was just thinking this morning I wish someone told me my 1 year old wasn't going to be one forever maybe I wouldn't have terminated as she's now 3 and having a 7 month baby is getting better and much easier.

Don't get me wrong it has been like going through a war with the termination, getting preganant again, hg and going to the hospital etc but with time it's eased and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

@Picklest21 how are you and what did you decide?

Hi only reading this now. I had a medical abortion too a couple of days ago. Not much cramps, clots and bleeding either and all of those stopped within about 10-12.

for some reason, I have a feeling that it failed. I’m now experiencing a sharp pain just below the abdomen. What did you experience afterwards?