Help? Keep or abortion?

[NeoNova2017]

I really need help. I am currently 9 weeks and 6 days pregnant with today being the last day I can have a medical abortion.
My ex did live with me for a month but has left on Monday. He was not happy about the pregnancy from the start and wanted me to have an abortion. I have always wanted a baby but I would have had an abortion had I not had endometriosis removed last year with a possibility it could come back.

I am terrified at the thought of being a single mum. I am not well off financially and mentally at the moment to be honest. I have always loved the idea of being a mum but unsure if this is the right time. Me and my ex were only together for 6 months. But within that time he had a drunk physical altercation with my mum ending with her punching him and he threw her to the floor. My family hate him and now he has left I do not know how I feel.

Turns out he might have multiple domestic violence cases due to my mum going to the police about Claire’s law but they could only speak to me. My head is a mess as he has two children already and has said if I choose to have the baby I need to move with him 2 hours away.

Do I keep the baby or do I use the abortion tablets I got from the clinic? I have spoke to family and friends who are really supportive either way. Also a bit of background I am diabetic type 2 and was switched to insulin when I found out. My diabetes has not been the best controlled but doctors cannot understand as I am not considered overweight and my diet is not terrible. This is another factor that is making me think abortion might be the best choice.

Do you want to be a mum one day? How old are you? With him out of the picture, you will be able to raise baby solo.

At 9 weeks,baby has already a heartbeat and a mini mini baby.

I can say, I had a termination bcos the father was abusive , and regret it every day.

I would love to be a mum one day. I am 26 years old. I think I am just scared at the thought of raising a baby alone.

I was on the pill so this pregnancy was not planned at all. I couldn’t take the tablets as I panicked. I have never considered abortion as an option but I understand it is needed for so many people.

I think I am terrified at the thought of him trying to be in my life for the rest of my life and the babies life. His current mum to his children has been through a lot with him smashing up her houses each time she moves. I just wanted to bring a child into a life so much better and wanted to be stable in myself. I have a great job but with everything I have had to go off sick to get myself better. Thank you so much for replying. It was so difficult to type up and not get a response.

Hi NeoNova, I'm so sorry that this partner of yours acted so cruelly to you and your family, and for your diabetes and other complications. If you have not already taken the tablets, I hope you will be able to really think this through. Maybe go to a pregnancy center to find out if there are legal protections available to you since he has been violent. And see if there are any financial aid programs that you could take advantage of. This is a choice you want to make with all the information you can get, so you are not saying "if I had only known" later on. Even just the act of posting on a public message board suggests to me that your mind is not made up, so I hope you'll be able to make this decision with a clear head and heart. I hope you, your children, and your family are safe.

I was unable to take the tablets which has made it really difficult. I am unsure how I feel as I always wanted to be a mum but not in this situation.

I did speak to the gynaecologist at my hospital appointment who stated if I did take it further it would be the police. I have booked an appointment with citizens advice to see if I can get help financially.

I have seen the baby twice now on scans and turns out I was further along than they thought at 12 weeks. So my only option would be surgical abortion if I did take that route. I looked at the baby at the scan and I was so upset then back in the waiting room a couple had lost theirs which really hit hard.

I am trying my best to make the right decision eventhough my family really want me to keep this baby. Thank you it really means a lot and I appreciate it.

Hello dear, I'm glad you are getting all the information you can, that is crucial to making your best choice. I'm sorry I got confused when you said there were two other children, I thought they were yours, when they are actually his with another woman. Even if he has a temper and is controlling, hopefully he is smart enough to know that if you make a police report (or get a restraining order) and he still tries to interfere in your life, that things will be 10x worse for him and he could get a criminal record. If he just doesn't want to pay child support, it might be worth telling him you just want him to leave you alone and you won't name him on the birth certificate. This would only work if your family was able to help you out while your finances are not steady. I know women who took that route and the guy was happy to just disappear from their lives.

You said your family really wants you to keep the baby, are they also willing to help out? Watch the baby so you can go out shopping, or have some time for yourself? That would make things a lot easier for you. Or if you know another single mum, you could trade babysitting with her, so you both get a break. Even if you don't have a romantic partner it doesn't mean you have to be a mum all alone, you can find community to help.

My baby was not planned and I was rather sulky and upset all through my pregnancy, but all that was washed away the moment she was laid next to me in the hospital. No one can prepare you for how much you will love your baby. It truly is a love like no other. If you decide to proceed with having your child, I wish both of you all the best, and if not, may you have peace and happiness going forward.

Im currently 9 weeks pregnant and due to have a medical abortion on Saturday, im honestly terrified and just full of dread to what is to come, my partner is being supportive, I’ve barely slept the last couple of days I can’t think about anything else, can anyone else tell me I’m just overthinking it or am I right to be feeling this way?
I also have two children and they will be in the house while I’m doing this, I don’t want them to hear me in any pain

Hi, I'm currently the same planning a medical on Saturday with 2 children in the house. It's very overwhelming so feel your pain in it taking over currently!

I’m sorry your in this postition too it’s very tough mentally right now