WWYD if you were me..

[missclose]

Suffered 3 miscarriages in a row I have a blood clotting disorder with my ex partner who I recently split with. I did want another baby with him but we split due to his drug use, debt and no trust. ,

I'm 36, I have 1 child from a previous relationship.
(He is not my child's dad)
I've now got to wait to see if I am pregnant again after the condom split after we slept together literally the day before we broke up.
And I'm having symptoms too. We don't have any ties house or financial ties etc I was just happy moving forward with mine and my child's life. And eventually going to date again. I so wanted another child ideally but not with him anymore &
if I am pregnant, I know 100% I would not want to rekindle the relationship with him. But I think I would struggle to abort, but I also know deep down I would be the one raising it alone with a man who yes would be in the child's life but I wouldn't trust him to watch the child unsupervised. Ideally I would want to find someone and have a child in a stable loving relationship. I know my age isn't the best but I know women who have had babies older too.
I know I may not be pregnant but im jus panicking now! We used to argue all the time about how I didn't trust him he ever had money he would do a drugs test if I was to return to the relationship! Etc he has a child with an ex and he used to do upstairs when the she was baby and the mother and baby were downstairs in the same house! I might jus be paranoid and overthinking things but I jus wanted other peoples opinions on WWYD ?
Thanku xx

I WAS in your situation but my ex was much more abusive. I terminated and I regret it everyday. I terminated out of fear and shame. This greif is something I've never felt and it's changed my whole personality. Nothing brings me joy expect my beautiful son. Please keep your pregnancy

How old is your current child?

8 years old. I'm not a 100% if I am or not yet anyway. But I don't want to raise another child alone. I've been raising my only child since they were 9 months old.

Sure, but you can always date. You won't always be able to have kids. I wish someone would of knocked sense into me in April before I made my decision.

Anyway, hopefully you will find out soon enough and be able to move forward with a decision.

Yes @ARABA8888 thanks hun and I'm really sorry about your loss. How old are u if u don't mind me asking? And I hope it's not
Late for you to try again one day if that's what you wanted ? xx

I'm 35. Yeah, I will try again and I think I'm going the donar route. The termination has left such a void and loss, I use to want a partner and family as I already have a son, but indont care anymore, I just miss my baby.

Hi missclose, I hope you don't have to wait too long to find out if you are indeed pregnant. Due to your age and your history of miscarriage, I don't think it would be extreme if you consider this your last chance to have another child. Of course it is probably not your only chance biologically (as in, you could use donor sperm or someone's frozen embryo), but considering it might take some time for you to meet a good man, and one who also wants to have children later in life, and to conceive... it may not happen in time. Add to that, the gap between your two children would be even greater, and the risk of fetal abnormality increases with age, I don't know if waiting would pay off. I'm sorry that it sounds like your ex-partner has some big flaws. If you feel he is a threat to the safety of you or your children, you should make a report. He would probably have to prove he is not using drugs in order to have any time with a child. Just because he's not a good guy doesn't mean the baby would have his personality problems. My friend has three boys with a total jerk (who she is no longer with) and they're some of the sweetest people I know. If you have always wanted a second child, this could be a good time as your older child can be a little more independent now (maybe it's time to let them start helping more with chores if they aren't already, they grow up before we know it!). Like Araba said, if you choose to abort, you might spend a long time wishing you could go back and make a different choice, and have your baby. The father would still need to financially support the baby he helped make even if he's not allowed to be involved in the child's life. Hope to hear back when you get the pregnancy test results, and I'll be thinking about you dear.