Abortion Decision

[overtheclouds]

Hey everyone,

has anyone terminated their pregnancy due to being single and already having other children? I just don’t know what to do. I have two older children, I have not been with their dad for 6 years. I have been with a partner who was toxic and we had a very unhealthy relationship for two years, I tried to leave him multiple times but he lured me back in every time. I got pregnant on the coil as I hadn’t realised I Needed a new one.

I haven’t fully got away from this man yet, I don’t want to be in a relationship with him so I’d be doing this alone and I would not be allowing him to be involved due to some recent things he has put me through meaning the police are involved. I am 9 weeks pregnant, I have been to two scabs thinking I’d miss carried but I have a bleed near the baby which is causing me bleeding.

I have had the abortion pills delivered after speaking to a nurse yesterday, I just don’t know what to do. My children are old enough to do everything them selves now, I have sort of just got my life back over the past few years eventhough my ex has ruined that a bit, I did not cope with the newborn stage well, I don’t have a lot of money, I also don’t have many friends and feel like this would mean I’d be single forever.

on the other hand, I do have a sort of attachment to it already after having two scares and two scans, I have had sickness every day so I definitely feel pregnant and I’m not sure how that would feel after it’s just gone!?, I never thought I’d ever had to have an abortion and I can’t even brig myself to open the box, I absolutely love ny children and know I’d love this baby the same.

what would you honestly do please?

Hmm, that's a tough situation Clouds. Was your partner physically abusive? Do you have a restraining order against him? I believe he would still have to pay child support if you can establish paternity even if he does not have access to the child. Or were you hoping he would never find out he got you pregnant?

You might want to go to some kind of pregnancy center to find out what aid might be available to you as a single mum, and your income level. At least then you could have all the information before you make your choice, if budget is one of the main factors. I think I would do everything in my power to have a baby instead of aborting, but not all women feel that way. I hope you're not all alone in this and have someone to listen to you who knows you and your situation better.

Sounds very tough. You definitely need to make the decision for yourself. Sadly nobody knows what is right for you but you.

Did you get counselling before receiving the pills? Sometimes that helps. Have you written out your thoughts and future. Somewhat of a pros and cons list.

I have been in your situation. I kept my first and raised her alone (I love being a mum and it sounds like you love your children) and decided to terminate the second but it was such a strong desire in me as I barely knew the guy. For me both choices had a tough 1-2 years that followed. It was more about picking my future and doing what was right for me.

Thank you for both of your replies, I really appreciate it.

I have decided to go with the abortion. I already feel guilty and just hoping that one day I will get over this. I have tried to get away from the child’s father for so long, to be reeled back in over and over and feel having the baby will mean that I will never get away from him and I would not want to being a baby into a world where there is risk he could ever be involved in the baby’s life.

I am literally devastated, I’m terrified of going through it and knowing I’ve just ended this baby’s life 😞

How did you get on reading your situation is so similar to mine wonder if you have any advice