Found out I’m pregnant and father is already in a long term relationship with children. He is now trying to force me to have abortion

[Bumblebee1230]

Hello

Just looking for a little bit of advice

i have recently just found out I am pregnant, roughly about 7 weeks. I’m 31 and this would be my first pregnancy. It has just come to light the guy I am pregnant too is already in a long term relationship with two children (something I didn’t know at the time and only found out after becoming pregnant)

When I told him I was pregnant he has taken the news really bad and is demanding I get an abortion. He is saying this would ruin his life and it’s unfair for me to go through with it as he should get a say on what happens. He said he can’t believe I haven’t been on contraception and I should have at least been taking the morning after pill

I do agree he should get a day but I don’t want to abort. I told him he is free to walk away and have nothing at all to do with this. I wouldn’t want child maintenance or anything from him, I have a strong support system around me and a decent job so I know I could raise the baby alone

he has said this isn’t good enough and I am selfish. I have told him again I would be keeping it and he is now threatening to leak explicit photos of me and saying he will contact my work and make lies up to get me sacked

i am really scared about the photos being leaked and also scared about him contacting my work. I feel so stuck right now and really unsure on what to do

am I being selfish wanting to keep this baby against his wishes? I feel backed into a corner and like I don’t have much of a choice even though I would love to keep it

any advice would be massively appreciated x

Oh my goodness, you poor dear, I'm so sorry you are being treated this way. He has absolutely no right to do this to you. You have been in a long-term relationship with him yet he never mentioned he has two children? What else has he been hiding from you?? And unless he's been using condoms, it sounds like he has been expecting all contraception to be your responsibility, which is not reasonable.

It sounds like you want to be a mum and could provide a loving home for this baby, so don't let him push you, threaten you, or coerce you. If you have any of this threatening in text or email, it's proof you can use against him with a lawyer. Even if you don't, you can be assertive with him and say that you are having this baby and you are more than willing to cut him out of your life completely if that's what he wants. You can not put his name on the birth certificate and you can notarize a letter saying you will not seek him out for child support at any time. Maybe that will cool him off a bit, as that's what men are usually most concerned about when unplanned pregnancies happen. One thing I do know is that nothing hurts worse, or is harder to recover from, than aborting a wanted child. Do not cave in to his aggressive behavior. This affects YOU more than anyone else on the planet and it sounds like you will welcome this baby with open arms.

Here is an article about leaking nude pictures that might be helpful:https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/nude-photos-leaked-private-pictures-legal-rights-263039