Taken First Part of Abortion and feeling regret.

[Char92xx]

Hello!

So my partner left me in January this year, we tried for 3 years to conceive with no luck, despite being told by health professionals there was no fertility issues.

Anyway fast forward, I met this guy twice and on the second met I fell pregnant, I did think to taken the morning after pill, but because my bmi is raised I read it isnt always very affective (stupid in hignsight) and thought well in 3 years I hadn't fallen pregnant so one night it won't happen, although that's hoe my first DS was conceived (yes you couldn't make this up, and was whilst I was on the pill)

I know it's not the right time to have a baby do contacted BPAS and revieved the tablets via post today and took the first one, and I am filled with so much regret now! Although I know its to late.

Financially it isn't the right time and I wouldn't want to bring up another child out of relationship, so I know it's the right thing but the guilt is so strong, is this normal?

I was/am 5w3days so super early, so trying to tell myself a proper heartbeat hasn't been formed or it isn't a 'real baby' yet which I know ow is ridiculous.

But is this normal to feel regret after the first stage? I can't stop crying 😓

Can’t speak to your circumstances and whether if not it’s right for you to continue but I felt a huge amount of grief and regret after the first pill, despite knowing (hoping) it was the right thing for my family.

You don’t have to continue with the second set of pills if you don’t want to - the first pill won’t affect the pregnancy if it does continue. I’ve read others say you have a 50/50 chance of it continuing although the risk of miscarrying increases with how early you are.

I’d take some time to let your emotions settle and take it from there before you decide whether to continue with the abortion. It’s a really tough situation to be in ❤️

Should have said that BPAS will also be able to offer you counselling.

my heart goes out to you- i had a complete melt down after the first pill as i think its all the emotions catching up with you once you have finally made a decision. almost like when ive had relative die and you keep going until the funeral but its at the funeral it becomes real. you can feel grief- but it doesnt mean its the wrong decision just either scenario is hard but its youve done what you feel is the right thing. As someone said you can choose not to take the second batch and wait and see (i did this but lost tit anyway). If you need some urgent counselling but can't get anything from BPAS, there is a charity called ARCH who gave me some urgent counselling when i was struggling. it can be worth writing down the reasons why you made the decision just to keep reminding yourself. and it is normal in many ways to grieve- youve been at the crossroads of life going one way or another and its a massive decision so you are going to feel wobbly. message any time on here- theres lots of us who have been there and its the most difficult process ive been through. and i think the thing is no one talks about it- we all talk about being prochoice but no one really talks about how it can be a hard process to do through because then you get labelled as being antichoice. its not about putting women off but its about helping people feel supported emotionally during the process x

also if you carry on, it can take a few weeks for the hormones to settle as they leave your body so be kind to yourself as it may be emotionally a hard few weeks x

How are you doing, Char? Did you end up taking the second pills? Like Tcr said, there is a chance the pregnancy will continue normally if you only took the mifepristone. There is definitely no "normal" reaction to aborting. Reactions run the whole spectrum from feeling nothing to being completely traumatized. Your case must be especially hard as you were recently trying to conceive and did not think it would happen. I'm so sorry and hope you are coping as best you can. Hope to hear from you dear.

Thank you all for responding.

You've all been so lovely!

I am due to take the second tablets today. I think as sad as I will be and full of guilt it is the right decision to make. I think I'll take up consuelling afterwards as it is going to be a battle for me as I have wanted a baby for so long but these truly are not the right circumstances. I am pleased I can conceive, albeit I've found out in the wrong way.

I think it'll be a whirlwind of emotions over the next few weeks.

I would love to keep this baby, but financially it's not appropaite right now even though I know you would make it work. But I really don't want to co parent again to someone I don't really know that we'll.

I think it's harder as the bpas lady said I would feel relief which I definitely didn't

thats good to be prepared for the whirlwind of emotions as will help you cope if you are prepared ! it can feel like a grief- it doesnt mean its the wrong decision just incredibly hard either way. think how strong and brave you are. it does get easier- partly biological as the hormones leave your body and partly emotionally because time is a healer. definately take up counselling and message us on here any time. i wish they would stop that relief thing- yes some women do but some dont and its better to be prepared emotionally as i certainly wasnt prepared for being hit with the grief. also just to say hormonally in the few weeks after you may be feel desperate to get pregnant again- not everyone does but some do.again its a biological reaction but doens't mean it was the wrong decision. x