So many feelings about abortion pill

[hungrybanshee]

So to jump right into things I (23 F) found out I was pregnant two days ago, just gone 7 weeks. I knew immediately that I'd have to terminate the pregnancy for many reasons: I've just lost my job, I don't have my own place and me and my boyfriend haven't been together that long (five months almost), with all of that considered I know I wouldn't be able to give a child the life it deserves.

I've got a phone consultation with BPAS tomorrow (13th Sept) and I'm so incredibly nervous. I know I'm sure of my decision but I feel horrible, I keep having dreams that I give birth to the child, the termination doesn't work ect. I want to be a mum and thought I was infertile so this just hurts. I'm also terrified about the whole process and the pain, even though I've a very high pain threshold, I'm not very good with anything medical.

Some words of advice from anyone who's been thru the same would be really nice so I know what to expect ect, ty

my heart goes out to you- its the most difficult decision ive ever made and until you are in the situation you dont realise how difficult it is with heart v head. when you speak to bpas its worth saying you would benefit from some counselling and they will arrange you a session. this will help you process your feelings and develop some coping mechanisms if you decide you need the termination. in terms of circumstances, whilst it may not be the ideal circumstances to bring a child up, theres plenty of people who bring their children up in war zones or are bad parents, just because practcially you arent where you hoped to be, emotionally you can still give them lots of love and there is help out there. im not saying dont think about the practicalities but do also think about your heart and whether there are solutions to the practicalities. there may not be but i found i let the practicalities overshadow my heart without thinking how i could make the practicalities work but practicalities change- within a week after i terminated partly due to financial reasons the government announced free childcare and a relative died leaving us some money- both of which altered how doable it would have been but by then it was too late! so practicalities are constantly changing. the challenge is after you do the abortion all the practicalities seemed ridioclous and all the heart reasons hit me. having some counselling may help you think through both practicalities and emotions. either way its a difficult decision, but its which one you can live with most. message on here anytime- theres plenty of women who have been through what you have and the worst thing i did was not talk to anyone before deciding. in terms of the physical side of things- that was relatively painless it wasnt as bad as they made out at all x

realise that wasnt what you asked but it sounds like your heart isn't fully on board with wanting to terminate and hopefully if you can access some counselling it will help process the heart as it can feel like a grief even if you feel its the right decision

no this was excellent advise, thank you!!

I'm definitely going to access the counselling as my mental health is rather fragile anyway; only a couple months ago I finished a pretty intense course of trauma based EMDR, so I'm extra mindful of my mental health atm and keeping myself together.

I'm set on a termination as, along with all the factors I mentioned above, im just not ready; my two best friends (both my age) have children; 2.5 year old and a 4 month old, and I commend them for it but I just couldn't do it the way they can at our age.

It's reassuring to hear the pain isn't bad; I used to get very bad periods as a teenager so I'm hoping at its worst it's just that as I know I can manage that- the things I've read online have truly been horrifying!!

It's just reassuring to know other people have been through it all: my mum is my rock and support system through all of this along with my auntie, but it is still an incredibly isolating experience regardless, so this has been some relief at least xox

counselling sounds like it would be good because as you say even though you know its the right decision once you have the process you can feel some grief because of the hormones leaving your body so getting some support will help ensure you have that support to stay strong in why you have decided its the best thing for you. many women have a termination around your age and then years later have their kids when it feels right. i had the pills and physically it was fine- as you say if you are use to heavy periods this will feel much easier! pain killers, hot water bottle and tlc will help. wishing you all the best with the process and do message whenever you need to.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's clear that you're in a difficult situation and you're feeling a lot of mixed emotions.
It's normal to feel nervous and scared about having an abortion, even if you know it's the right decision for you. The abortion pill is a safe and effective way to end a pregnancy, but it's still a medical procedure and it's natural to have some anxiety about it.
The BPAS phone consultation will be a good opportunity to ask any questions you have about the abortion pill and the procedure. They will also be able to give you more information about what to expect after the abortion.
It's also important to remember that you're not alone in this. There are many women who have had abortions, and there are resources available to help you through this. The BPAS website has a list of support groups and counseling services that you can contact.
I know it's hard to imagine right now, but you will get through this. You are strong and capable, and you will make the best decision for yourself.
Here are some words of advice from people who have been through the same:

• "The abortion pill was the best decision I ever made. It was safe, effective, and I didn't have any complications. I felt relieved and grateful to have had the choice."
• "I was really nervous about the abortion pill, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The cramps were uncomfortable, but they were manageable. I was back to my normal self within a few days."
• "It's okay to feel scared and sad about having an abortion. It's a big decision, and it's natural to have mixed emotions. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, and don't be afraid to reach out for support."

I just wanted to post as I am currently going through the process,

I was unsure at the start of what to do but practically I couldn't have another child (I already have children) and financially it would be very difficult in the current climate.

I went through nupas as that was my nearest clinic.

I had a phone call initially to talk through medical history, they lightly asked why I wanted the termination (it has to be signed off by doctors so for me it was for mental health reasons and also practical) asked how far along I was - I wasn't sure as I was on the pill so I needed to go in for a scan first.

I am a very anxious person, I have cried alot this week and struggled with the decision morally for myself but I knew it was the right choice.

Going to the clinic was fine, I went in and despite feeling very anxious beforehand once I got there I felt surprisingly calm. My partner didn't come with me he stayed at home with the children (he couldn't of come through anyway you have to go in alone from the initial waiting room) but I had him and also my best friend i was texting as I was waiting to go through which really helped. I had the scan, they didn't show anything and I didn't hear nothing she just dated me at 7 plus 3. I then waiting for a little bit before going through to see the nurse.

She checked first I wasn't being forced into the abortion, that it was all my choice. Talked about the process and what to expect etc. I had opted for a depot injection for contraception whilst there for I took the first tablet with some water and then she gave me the injection and then I was on my way. This was all on Monday.

I have been feeling very sick in the pregnancy but yesterday I felt very sick and was actually sick so I'm not sure if that is the first pill. I also had a little bit of shivers and upset tummy. I didn't need pain killers but I didn't feel great.

They say to take the second tablets 24-48 hours after the first.

I have literally just taken my second lot half an hour ago. I took one cocodamol they had given me and two paracetamol and plan to take a couple of ibropofen in another 2 hours. I then took the four tablets orally (you have to keep them in your mouth for 30 mins then swallow the rest) you can also take them vaginally which I was planning to do but decided against it last minute. Sitting them in my mouth was fine but at the end of the 30 minutes I was nearly sick trying to swallow the rest (I am awful at taking tablets and quite often throw up if I have a powdery large tablet) however did manage to not be sick.

I am now just sitting waiting for them to take effect now.

Oh my goodness good luck to you!! If you feel comfortable please update with your experience? Look after yourself ♥️

This might be TMI for some so don't read...

I feel okay to be honest, I starting bleeding almost straight away and passed most of the pregnancy I would say within the first 30 mins. I don't often take even paracetamol so I didn't feel any pain as the tablets had all kicked in, I just felt an odd like I was about to leak out my pad feeling ran to the loo and it just came out. It wasn't uncomfortable just an odd feeling that obv lasted 1 second. I was fine for a couple of hours after starting then took some ibropofen, I had started to feel quite sick at that 2 hour point, had some lower back pain and just couldn't really get comfy for a bit. I had a hot water bottle which didn't really help me. I then had a sandwich which stopped me feeling sick and took another two paracetamol and now feel fine again just a small dull ache in the lower back but I've been able to sleep a little bit on and off. I've decided not to take the cocodamol again as I think that may have been what made me feel sick. I have heavy ish bleeding, I don't normally wear pads I use tampons so I keep feeling the flow which is uncomfortable for me and if I feel like there quite a lot I've been going to the bathroom, a couple of times I've passed some smaller clots when standing and then sitting on the toilet. I haven't really felt emotional about it but I guess that will come in time, I do honestly feel it was the right thing still. I also didn't manage to take the last two tablets, I felt so sick at that 3/4 hour point still the idea of putting them in my mouth made me feel sick so I just haven't taken them, I'm quite happy that the first ones have worked and are still working.