What to do

[Ann1994]

Hello,

I’m looking for some advice, I found out last night that I am pregnant and it is a complete shock. Myself and my husband were not planning on this for at least another year, we’re 29 and 30 and are more than ready for a baby however the same day I found out I have got a dream promotion that I’ve worked really hard for. The job wouldn’t start until November and the baby would be due in May so I’d be be going on Mat leave in the April. In addition my husband has just started his own business and is under a lot of pressure and doesn’t really have a lot of spare time and definitely wouldn’t be able to take any paternity time off.

We have got a lot planned over the next year which would all have to be on hold to have a baby which is fine I just think it adds to the fact of how much I don’t feel ready.

I feel awful putting my career before a life but I just do not feel ready, my husband doesn’t open up much so it’s hard to get his opinion. I do suffer with anxiety and low mood so the decision is causing me a lot of stress.

I don’t know if anyone else has been in a similar situation.
thank you

if you suffer from aneixty anyway do you think its the worry that is driving you to worry about your decision? even people with planned pregnancies have that panic. if you want children at some point, is it worth taking the risk of it not happening just because the timing is not perfect? i read somewhere that 50% of pregnancies are unplanned! your workplace will be experienced at people taking mat leave- i had to tell a new boss i was pregnant and worried so much but they were pleased and still felt i would do a good job just bccause i would be on mat leave for a few months. please dont rush into a decision- speak to a counsellor as i didnt and struggled to make peace with my decision. that may help seperate what is your real fears/concerns and what is your anexity driving things. good luck- it can be a hard decision either way

Hi Ann, I agree with Saskia, there is never a "perfect" time to have a baby. If you wait a year or two, you'll still feel like it's not a good time to take a leave from work. It sounds like the two of you are at a good age, financially stable, and want to be parents. I also got pregnant at not the best time, but we were able to make it work by being very budget careful. When my daughter was born I knew it was the right choice and that I'd do anything to protect her. All the other worries became things I could deal with. Don't let anxiety make the decision for you, a counsellor sounds like a good suggestion to help you see what is legitimate worry and what is not likely to happen.