I want to create this in order to help as many women as I can.
since having my abortion 4 weeks ago, to going through the absolute hell of my decision and regret. I have been doing much research and want this to be known to women as I was very mislead, some may say I was lied to.
I took the first pill and instantly regretted it. I rang NUPAS three times for advice as I didn’t want to terminate, and I wanted to change my mind and keep the baby! But was told by three nurses “NOTHING CAN BE DONE, TO CONTINUE TO TERMINATE”
I mentioned I heard about ARP and they said it wasn’t in the uk and it was banned!
which I now found out was complete LIES!
there is a pill to reverse the first pill, it just gives you the hormones you need as the first one blocks the hormones. However many women have in fact still had a baby without the ARP which I’ve only found out after. When they told me there was nothing they could be done
I didn’t believe them, my instinct kicked in and the next morning I went to A&E, a gynaecologist told me I would more likely be ok than not.
so I left and felt so happy. The next day I woke up feeling the fear and panic again, and thought about If things weren’t ok by taking the first pill, as the nurses at nupas told me I would likely miscarry. Even though the hospital told me different, the seed they planted of fear crept in.
I kept thinking of the worst and about getting to 12 weeks to be told it wasn’t ok, and then thinking of having a surgical abortion after the news of it not being ok and would then only cause more trauma to myself, from one taking the first pill to then going surgical, that panic really took over and I forgot about the possibility of EVERYTHING BEING OK! How I could let fear override the happiness I felt of coming out A&E. unfortunately that evening I realised that night would be 48 hours and I would of needed to complete the second stage within a few hours if so.
I completely convinced myself to do it even though I didn’t want to, I had to force myself to take the next stage. Because I kept thinking it wouldn’t be ok if I kept it, and the thought of surgical would have damaged me more. I was WRONG! 💔 I saw everything my baby was there after the most horrendous event of pain and being at home, to seeing everything in detail was where I really lost my mind. Nobody told me I would see my baby, nobody told me it was more than a heavy period. It was horrific.
since then I have been signed off work with severe depression froM the regret and guilt. I really was so scared and panicked I didn’t know myself looking back I was out of my mind.
since finding out that I should of been advised about the ARP as it’s available with many doctors in England, I could of saved my baby. The clinics lie to you, they don’t support you. They just want you to do the policy and terminate.
they don’t care really about the mh side as nobody told me so many factors to abortion.
its played down so much. Yes abortion can be good for many women. But they do not speak enough about the negative impact it has.
or even having something in place for women who do change their mind, advise on ARP or advise on the mental health affects, they should want to help women either way, to terminate or keep. But it seems it only one way. I just want to help as many women I can, because the grief and pain I feel now if only i knew the stuff I do now, I’m hoping this can help some women. You’re highly hormonal and driven by fear, If you’re reading this as you are not confident in your choice and feel you’re forcing yourself DONT DO IT! Listen to your inner self and instinct, unfortunately I didn’t and wish I could do anything to turn back time.
xx