Under pressure to have children

[Sclub7]

My partner really wants to have children and I'm not sure I do. I have never felt "The Urge" and although he does know this, he really wants to have children as he feels he is a born father, without a child. We have been together for 23 years, I am 45 and he is 44. I know the chances of conceiving at our ages are low. I have suggested fostering but he would find it too difficult as he really has the urge for his own child. We have a secure home environment and adoption takes too long and is too hard to do and the chances of getting a baby that way are so slim. I love him very much as he is my whole life. Should I try with him anyway? I would love to make him happy and he would be over the moon if I became pregnant....I'm just not sure I would be.....I worry that as I have never wanted a child that I would be unhappy forever. But then maybe I would like it? I feel confused. Thank you!

I think you need to be realistic about how much intervention you would be prepared to accept and how much intervention he would want to pursue to achieve a child.

Your chance of conceiving naturally at 45 is low. Would you be willing to use an egg donor? How many cycles of IVF would you be happy to go through/able to fund?

Assisted reproduction is very hard and that's before pregnancy. The worst thing would be him pushing you to continue trying when you feel the costs outweigh the benefit of a child.

You need to get professional advice to have a realistic idea of what trying would mean for you and then decide in that context if it's something you want together. I hope you come to an answer together that you're both content with ❤