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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

21 and pregnant

1 reply

ivyrayne · 15/07/2023 01:00

Hi all. Posting on here as I’m not sure what to do. I found out that I’m pregnant today, I tested faintly positive on six different tests (I took six because I was in denial). I was on contraception (the patch), so it’s a total shock to me and my partner. I’m in a very loving and stable relationship, and my boyfriend reacted very well to the news, he told me everything will be okay and I have nothing to worry about. He doesn’t think we’re ready for a baby, as he’s just graduated and I’m starting my final year of university in September. My question is, can I still do my degree and work whilst pregnant, and then with a child? I agree that I don’t feel completely ready for a child, but I don’t feel like I can go through with an abortion. I’m so stuck, I have two minds about it and I feel so lost. We’ve been together for three years and we rent a house together with two bedrooms. We can fit a baby here, but I really don’t know if I’m ready. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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Saskia2023 · 25/07/2023 22:50

sorry no one has replied. you can certainly complete university and the universities are experienced at supporting people through- i work at a uni. there are things like leave of absences to cover maternity leave, flexible deadlines, student union nurseries and hardship funds/ bursaries to support you with completing uni. it may feel hard juggling but think of it like working with a baby- its possible. my mum had to push my baby round for an hour when he was 3 months old for me to complete an exam and I wrote a presentation when he was 2 months old in a sling on me! practicalities will sort themselves out, its about what your heart wants- on there there are couples your age who terminated, stayed together and had kids later when they felt more settled to but equally there are people on here who had unplanned babies who felt it was the best decision they ever made. the main thing is to talk to a counsellor to get your views straight so you are making the decision you feel most able to cope with- both decisions are hard but talking to someone independent may help you process your thoughts x

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