Abortion I have no one to talk to

[guesswhoisbackagain]

I don't know why I am posting on here as no one seems to read it. I just need to let speak to someone.
I opened up to a friend which felt like a huge thing but after the initial few messages she barely speaks about it, I don't know if she's judging me or just doesn't care about me. It's probably the latter.
I can speak to DP but it's not helping. It's too close to home and he can't get it from my perspective. The shame is eating me up. I feel like I'm grieving, like I'm the most evil person in the world. My life will never be as the same, I will never have the same happiness.
I wish I had someone to speak to.

Hey! I went through this on Saturday, luckily I had my partner but we didn’t tell anyone else! How are you feeling? If I can, I will try to answer any questions! Feel free to message me x

Thank you for getting back to me. I feel so alone and the weight of this decision just feels too much.
Can I ask how you made your decision? And what was the experience of the medical abortion like? Are you feeling better now?
Thank you x

Hi, I hope you’re feeling better. It sounds like we are in the exact same boat. I had a ma yesterday and even though I know it was the right decision for me the guilt is eating me up. I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago it was a HUGE shock to say the least. Over the past 3 weeks I tried my best to accept it and try and move forward but everyday seemed like a dark cloud over my head.. I was crying everyday and confused on what to do as abortion was never an option for me. I finally thought I come to a final decision on Friday to keep going and proceed with the pregnancy as I didn’t think I could mentally be ok and start the tablets. Saturday I woke up and the cloud of sadness was back I then knew what I needed to do for us all and also to be able to parent my other 2 children as I’ve been so down I’ve been struggling with everything. One of my issues was my partner he didn’t want to talk to me about it it’s as if he would just ignore what I was saying and was happening so I felt very alone on my decision it was just on me.. it was as if I was screaming inside for someone to just help me. I did have my sister with full support in whatever I chose to do and she was with me yesterday when I took the tablets. My mum hasn’t been supportive at all every time she would tell me to do the right thing for myself it would get chucked back in my face and now she has made me feel 10x worse then I already did about my decision that I am evil but would then ring me apologise and then the next day I’m evil again constantly round in circles. This is the hardest decision I think any woman can make. People can ignore what’s happened and carry on as normal but for us we can’t just switch off as we are the ones who has to go through with it and live with it.
im really sorry you are feeling like this and I just wanted to message to tell you you are not alone and I’m sure there are many others out there that are struggling just like us.
I hope you feel better soon and keep strong x

Hi
You're not alone, a lot of women struggle. Please seek help, I've recently started counselling with Arch Trust. (They Specialise for women who are struggling after an abortion). There's a phone line you can call to speak to someone straight away.... i waited 6 months for 1:1 counselling but it's worth it. I feel like I'm finally starting to forgive myself for the decision I made. Try not to be too hard on yourself. It is the worst decision to make as a woman....the feeling of grief is so overwhelming. I felt like I had no right as I made the decision. Like you I had no one to talk to and I think just having someone to talk through it all with has really helped.

http://archtrust.org.uk/

Thank you. I feel so sad all the time, can't imagine feeling truly happy again.

@guesswhoisbackagain it’s completely normal. Please know that those judging you aren’t exactly saints. And if it is that she doesn’t care about you then that’s one less fake friend to deal with. Having an abortion is a big step, I recently had one (less than 2 wks ago) but I had a lot of things to process and felt in my core that I was not ready for a child. Everyone always says to have a child but why have a child if you cannot provide and take care of it? Granted, we should be more careful to prevent unwanted pregnancies but things happen and we cannot beat ourselves up for that. I cannot give my child the life I’d want to give them so why would I bring a child into the world to punish? That would be very selfish and huge injustice to that child. I’ve known people who say “my child is my blessing” or “my child is my everything” yet they cannot provide 3 meals for their child.

My experience with a MA I am still dealing with it as I am still bleeding. I do from time to time feel some regret but I also know I made the right choice based on my situation.
please have a child when you are ready, not when society dictates you should. Your body will go through a million changes, make sure you are ready for that and that you have a partner who’s worthy of you going through all of that for.

@guesswhoisbackagain you will feel like your normal self again soon. However, if you think you might be depressed you should seek some professional help. But please stop beating yourself up ok, you’re not alone. Millions of women across the world have had at least one medical Ab. in their lifetime. You are certainly not alone, not the first and won’t be the last.

This is me 💔 I am broken 😔 how are you now x