Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

5 weeks pregnant, unplanned, can’t cope with HG

3 replies

Sadandscaredmum · 02/07/2023 21:39

Hello all

I don’t really expect replies but I thought typing here might help me untangle my thoughts.

I’m pregnant by accident, only 5 weeks but I already feel dreadful - I suffered terrible sickness with my son. I could barely get out of bed and eating was a fight to keep every mouthful down (I could stomach so little that after my pregnancy my teeth became transparent). At that time I didn’t need to do anything much at all, so I could live around the sickness and work (self employed) when I could. My midwife said it was probably HG but as I was working around it, I didn’t need a diagnosis unless I couldn’t keep water down.

This time I have my little boy to look after, we are moving house in 6 weeks, little boy is having gruelling tests in 4 weeks (only found this out last week - we expect a diagnosis of a serious eye condition and probably will be diagnosed as partially sighted). I just don’t see how I can cope with the sickness and these things that can’t be moved. I started to feel a little better in second trimester, not much but a little, it feels like the timing of this is so cruel and I could have coped better if these things had fallen in 2nd or 3rd trimester.

I don’t see how I can be the mum he will need through these stressful events when I can’t move or eat - I can hardly even read to him now because it feels like motion sickness. He’s close to his dad but he needs mummy when he’s scared or confused, he’s only 3.

Rationally, I know the best thing to do is terminate but I so want to give him a sibling and worry that my time is running out to do that at 37. Although, trying to be pragmatic, having conceived by accident suggests my age isn’t such an impediment to that and I could ttc in 6 months (as we had intended to) having planned for the sickness with the move out of the way.

I’m struggling to come to terms with the situation and I’m so scared of making a mistake either way, my heart keeps coming back to putting my son first right now and making sure I can be what he needs, as well as physically being able to move house. But at the same time, a termination is the last thing I want to do.

I’m just so sad.

OP posts:
Sadandscaredmum · 04/07/2023 10:25

I’m doubting myself now and wondering if I should just go ahead despite everything. I’m scared this could be my last chance to give my son a sibling and I’m about to throw it away.

I already feel so physically dreadful and just want it to stop, I don’t want this feeling to lead me to the wrong decision.

My partner wants to continue the pregnancy.

I think I’m having a breakdown, I was at my coping limit before this and it has tipped me over. I don’t see a way out of that which ever way this goes.

My heart hurts, I wish I could go back a few weeks - we were so happy.

OP posts:
RecycledKettle · 06/07/2023 04:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Previously banned poster.

Sadandscaredmum · 06/07/2023 06:34

Thank you for your reply. And thank you for your kind words.

Right now I feel so horrific that I just want to not be pregnant. The sickness is constant and crushing me.

Doctor was quite dismissive, and just talks about ‘trying ginger’.

I have to do right by my son first and foremost, my mental and physical health are suffering and impacting him when he needs me the most.

We do have family who would want to help.

I’m just so overwhelmed and can’t let the pregnancy continue to develop more if I’m making that decision.

I still can’t believe I’m in this position, I keep feeling like I just wish I could go back.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page