Medical abortion 3 months ago

[lollypops2303]

Hello!

First time posting on here.

I had a medical abortion in March 2023 and I am very much still on the rocky path of mental recovery.

Is anyone else in the same boat?

I'd love to chat with others in this situation as I feel completely isolated. The only one who knows is my partner and I struggle talking to him about it, he tries to be supportively but he really just doesn't understand

Hello
I had a surgical termination in April and I’m also still trying to recover mentally.

I felt very isolated and then I told my 2 closest friends who have been amazing and keep scooping me up and putting me back together.
Talking about it and letting myself feel what I need to has been the most helpful things.

I’m on the same boat. Had a medical termination back in March and the guilt and sadness comes and goes in waves. I’ve spoken to my partner about it but I feel like a constant reminder and burden to him when I’m upset because he doesn’t open up to me on how he feels although I know he feels regret too.

I feel like talking about it could help but finding people to confide in has been hard for me personally.

It really is the waves more days now I'm okay, but on bad days it's unbearable.

Im struggling to try to open up to anyone outside of my partner, mainly I'm concerned my decision will be doubted and I often feel regret and wonder what it would have been like if I had decided to continue the pregnancy.

Its such a rollercoaster

I'm glad you managed to get support from your friends. Did they know about it beforehand or did you tell them after?

Totally understand the good and bad days. I’ve had more bad than good recently. It was my birthday recently and I hit the age where the younger me thought I’d have a kid and I very nearly did but for various reasons it wouldn’t have worked out in the way I would want to raise a kid.

I still question my reasons because I have friends/know of people my age in ‘worse’ situations than me who are pregnant and excited regardless which makes me feel even more guilt and feel selfish for mine..

But.. we both went through it roughly around the same time going by your post and I had a cry today again and my boyfriend had to remind me that it’s ok to be sad and that it’s literally only been 3 months.. I do have one close friend who had a surgical termination 4/5 years ago and she said you never forget but it gets easier so I’m happy to listen if you need it🤍

I do the same looking at my friends too, and with hindsight I do doubt my reasons but you are right. It was recent so it should get easier, hopefully!

One of my friends is pregnant now and is due about 4 weeks after what would have been my due date too which I think it's particularly difficult. I am obviously thrilled for her, but it feels like a real life "what if"

Mine was about 5 weeks ago, and I'm just not OK. I regret the decision I wish I hadn't panicked and felt rushed, but I really didn't want a surgical so felt I was on a time scale.

My partner is supportive. My friend just had a baby, and there are two women pregnant at work and I just can't deal with it. I know people say it gets easier but I just don't feel like it will. It just consumes my thoughts all day and everyday.

I understand what you mean about feeling rushed with the time scale, I feel like I also did the same. I am still struggling mentally, but there are good days too now but I still think about it every single day. It's exhausting and I don't wonder if I will ever really feel that was the right decision.

I know the hardest first stage for me was around must first post abortion period as it really hit home that the decision was made.

Sending you so much love as you work your way through 💕

I told them after, I couldn’t bare to tell them before because it would have made me think about it more and I didn’t know what my closest friends views on abortion were so I was scared of her hating me.
It’s not something really spoken about so I think many woman end up feeling lonely and isolated.

The feeling of isolation can be overwhelming at times, it's such a taboo subject that it's hard to know who to open up to & what their views might be (aside from my husband).

I'm a bit further down the line as mine was 8 months ago now. Time is definitely a healer, well not a total healer, this will always be a part of me now but the thoughts are more fleeting & further apart. It doesn't consume me.

Have you had any counselling? I was initially not keen as I didn't feel I needed help to make the decision but actually I definitely needed help to process the decision. I found it really beneficial to talk to someone supportive but who wasn't emotionally invested in it. It was free through BPAS but sure other providers have similar set ups. I'd really encourage it.

Here to chat if anyone needs it

I've not but I felt the same as you with the decision, I didn't think I needed at the time. I will definitely follow up and give it a go, I've had a tough couple of days and I think it's probably time to accept I do need a little help with the aftermath now x

Hi guys any update did u get your period?