I don't know want to do

[RatatatCat]

I'm 6 weeks pregnant. It wasn't planned and my DP and I both have a child from previous relationships. Very early on when we were dating we agreed that we didn't want more children.

I now don't think I ever understood how I'd feel if I was in this situation because I don't feel I can through with an abortion. I've got the tablets to take but the thought of making that choice is making me feel awful. Realistically I could make it work but my DP is not on board at all. He is hugely struggling with me suggesting that I feel differently and I feel very alone in the situation.

Neither option feels like what I want and I just don't know how I can make a choice?

If you don’t feel you can go through with it then I think that’s your decision made.
Maybe make list of the pros and cons and if you really feel like you can’t do it that’s your choice

Sending love because I’m having very similar issues.
DH is a definite no and I’m on the fence…

I’m just going to give it a bit more time and speak to friends and see if he calms or I make a decision either way.

Is your DP a definite no or will he change his mind?

I’ve just been in a similar position and my thoughts were if I can do it without him then I could keep the pregnancy but financial and housing wise I knew I wouldn’t cope with or without him. It sounds like your more set on keeping the pregnancy, I went through with taking the tablets yesterday and it was very hard but today I am feeling sad but know it was the right decision for me and the two young children I have.

I hope you are feeling ok. Well done on making the decision.

He is set on not wanting it. We discussed it before and both agreed that if it ever came to this decision I'd get a termination. I actually donated my eggs last year, as a kind of 'well I don't need them'. So I get why he is so hurt and confused by me changing my mind.

I just didn't realise I'd feel like this. I'm such a fatalistic person and I'm like this must of happened for a reason.

Financially it wouldn't be easy but I brought up my DS on my own, whilst working and supporting us both. Part of me thinks I could have such a better experience this time, but I guess that's easy to say now.

I totally get the not wanting to make a choice, I’m the same one minute I’m planning on keeping the baby and checking mat pay to see how I’d be financially, the next minute I’m remembering all of those ages that I found difficult.
there’s also some hefty age gaps (16 & 11) so essentially it would be like starting again😳

I just don’t know how I’d feel if I did it, I/we never will unless it’s done and I’m the same “everything happens for a reason” - even more so as I didn’t conceive the other 2 easily.

@QueenieK I really would write down pros and cons for each option and look at it written down, I would say you really need to be sure of your reasons if you choose not to continue.
I’m from a family with big age gaps and when the youngest of 5 was born as a complete surprise and shock to everyone and my mum was over 40 but it just meant we helped with raising her. It’s such a hard decision if your partner is not supportive.

I've started miscarrying the baby so actually I guess everything does happen for a reason.

I actually feel relieved, which is horrible to say but the decision was taken out of my hands.

@QueenieK I hope you can make a decision that feels right for you. I did write down decisions and ultimately there were more cons to the baby than pros but it's still a big decision for you. Sending love, and still believing in fate....

Ah I’m sorry to hear this @RatatatCat , but I 💯 get what you mean by fate has taken a difficult decision away.

I think I’ll write a pros and cons list.
Me and DH had a difficult conversation this morning… he is speaking to me more calmly now at least and I’ve booked in to speak to
The specialist counselling midwife on 20/6 which I feel is too long to wait but I’m more leaning to keeping, but tomorrow could be different again.