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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Abortion, first pill taken

14 replies

Cgy · 28/05/2023 11:59

I took the first abortion pill last night at around 10:30 pm and now I’m worrying about when to do the next lot. Do I just do it at 10:30 tonight or wait until tomorrow when my mum has my 5 year old. I also have a 1 year old so just thinking practically what’s best. I almost just want it over and done with tonight. My partners gone out for the day and I’m emotionally and physically drained already, I just feel like he has no emotion to this. I don’t even know if I’ve made the right decision and my little boy just randomly said after seeing a pregnant lady on tv that he’d like another baby 😭. My main reasons for choosing this have been financial, we are both in debt from me being on Mat leave and are going through a rocky patch anyway, even if I chose to do this on my own I wouldnt recover financially before being on Mat leave again. I also get bad sickness and am still breastfeeding so I just don’t know how I’d cope with both. I just feel so so lonely and lost in this. The other main thing is our housing situation, we barely have space for the 4 of us so trying to squeeze another would put a lot of pressure on an already strained relationship. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

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Sirius77 · 28/05/2023 20:45

I am going on Tuesday to get my first abortion pill and am lost and lonely too. It's been over a week since I found out I was expecting my 4th and I find as the days go on I just get more numb. We cannot afford this and are in the process of moving house. I was wondering too if it is ok just to take the other pills exactly 24 hours later which is what I am planning to do. I don't think it matters as long as you make sure you are in a calm atmosphere. The nurse on the phone to me said not to be giving primary care to my children when I take the second lot but easier said than done I suppose. If you feel drained and exhausted maybe wait until tomorrow when your 5 year old is out of the house and you have hopefully had a sleep?

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Cgy · 28/05/2023 21:10

@Sirius77 you replied at such a good time, thank you, I’m sat in bed in tears trying to get the baby to sleep and just messaged my partner to see how late he’s going to be back and he’s just said late. Which is brilliant when I’ve just explained how hard today has been. This sums up our relationship, his social life is prioritised over me and the kids even at a time like this. I also have the dilemma of doing it tomorrow evening that he is away Tuesday and Wednesday so I’ll have the kids on my own. Hope you’re feeling ok.

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Sirius77 · 28/05/2023 21:20

Sorry to hear you're having a crap night in tears :( I think men in general are detached from the whole abortion thing. Even when they try they just don't get it. My hubby said he just felt helpless and as the days go on he just sort of acts normal like he almost forgets I am about to do something that will probably stay with me for my entire life. Maybe that's how your partner feels too, just meh? But maybe you should just reiterate to him that this is a big deal and you need physical support through this!
Sounds like there's no 'right' time for you to take the 2nd lot of pills but just try and make sure you are in as best a mental state as you can manage beforehand. I'm sure it's hard for you with the young baby/sleeping at night etc, mine are a bit older.

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Cgy · 28/05/2023 22:27

Thank you, you’re right. I think after being left all day today I just feel doubly sad, almost like this is proof my relationship is in pieces as well if I can’t even get support over him being out. I’m thinking maybe tomorrow afternoon would be best, we were supposed to be out with family but I’m not in the mood for socialising anyway so best to get it done earlier in the day I would imagine. Gosh this is just unbearable. That’s exactly it, I guess it happens to us so they don’t really think of it as anything. Just a problem solved

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Sirius77 · 29/05/2023 18:12

How did you get on? Did you take the pills? Hope you are alright x

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Cgy · 29/05/2023 21:15

@Sirius77 Hi, I did.. I thought I could take the second lot vaginally as I’ve read putting them in your mouth can make you more sick but I’m sat here with them in my mouth as bleeding started and I really couldn’t have attempted to put them inside me. You were really right about waiting for the 5 year old to be away, thank you for that. I inserted the first lot at 5:20 without him here as he was out getting trousers for his work trip and I knew I needed to do it asap because of the time

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Sirius77 · 29/05/2023 21:52

Yes I heard that too about the sickness with inserting in the mouth so let me know how you get on with that. Nausea on top of everything else is the last thing you need!

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Cgy · 29/05/2023 23:17

No nausea from having it in my mouth, I’ve just panicked and read you can’t breastfeed whilst taking codeine and I’ve had two lots. I told the lady on the phone I was breastfeeding as baby doesn’t take a bottle. Now I don’t know what to do.

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Sirius77 · 29/05/2023 23:38

They really should not have prescribed you codeine if you told them you were currently breastfeeding. When you say two lots do you mean 2 tablets? If it were me I would maybe ring GP in the morning or call the clinic back?

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Cgy · 29/05/2023 23:48

I took two tablets around 5pm and another two at 9pm. I’ve seen something saying to wait 15 hours to feed, he might just have to go without tonight but he’s very reliant on it and doesn’t take a bottle. I don’t even have a pump to pump and dump. I think I will call BPAS in the morning. Honestly last thing I need

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Sirius77 · 31/05/2023 10:56

Just wanted to check in with you and see how you got on?

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Cgy · 01/06/2023 02:59

I had to stop taking the codeine and then was full on in worry mode feeding. But he was ok, really annoyed about that because I made sure I mentioned that on the phone. Bleeding has been like a heavy period and ideally I would have rested for a couple of days but the kids have meant I’ve been up and about. How are you doing with everything?

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Sirius77 · 01/06/2023 09:34

That's good.
I have finished the process and am same just have a heavy period and physically i thought it was going to be a lot worse. Not sure how I feel mentally at the moment just trying to go easy on myself and not overthink too much. Just happy I am on the other side at least.
Just try to kick your feet up when you can.

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Cgy · 02/06/2023 09:39

It’s a strange feeling isn’t it, I’m worried it’s going to smack me in the face unexpectedly. Glad it’s all gone ok for you as well. What a week

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