Scared to be a single mum

[LS1245]

Hi guys,

Thank you in advance for any advice. I find myself in a situation that I know could have been avoided but here I am. I’m 27 and currently pregnant for a man I recently started dating. We used protection but it split, we carried on without and I took the MAP 6 hours later but it didn’t work.

I’m torn because I feel guilty having a termination as I had an ectopic pregnancy 3 years ago when I was in a long term relationship and was very broken by it. We broke up 2 years ago and I haven’t dated since as I’ve been focused on my career and just when I’ve decided to get back into the dating scene I’m in this predicament. The dad has been horrible about the whole situation and wants me to have an abortion. I’m torn as I did consider a termination but, I was in EPU today for a scan due to my previous ectopic.. I saw so many women in there broken, crying assuming they’ve been given bad news ( I felt so guilty and horrible considering anything else but to keep the child) I know I want to be a mother but I didn’t ever envision doing it by myself. All my family members have partners so the concept of single parent is not one I’ve seen around me.

Financially I would be fine as I have a good job, and secure career (however I’m not naive and know that 2 incomes are better than 1). My family is also very close and they’ve all said they would help me as much as they can with childcare but I know the responsibility ultimately lies with me. Emotionally I don’t know how I’d cope.

I fear my child not having a dad in their life and how this would impact them later on in life.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so how did it turn out? any advice regarding the whole situation would be much appreciated.

x

Hey @RecycledKettle

Thank you soo much for responding! I think I’m still in shock at the fact that I’m pregnant that I’m just not able to organise my thoughts and feelings properly but your words touched me. I’ve been so independent all my life that this is one situation I hoped I would never have to go through without a partner. I’ve worked soo hard to make sure I don’t struggle in life that I’m just scared of struggling in this situation but I guess nothing good comes easy & like you said life never goes to plan, & there’s also beauty in that. I’m 8 weeks today so I really need to make up my mind but all I’ve been doing lately is isolating myself & sleeping so I don’t have to think 😭

Heya, what did you decide?
If still deciding, please remember that 27 is so, so young! Unless what you want is to be a single mother right now, you don't need to go ahead with THIS pregnancy just because you want children one day, there is no 'should' with continuing a pregnancy. If what you want is a baby with a partner there is every chance you can have that one day. You can get free counselling to help you decide from Marie stopes btw.