3rd Baby??

[vfqueen]

Hi,
We have found out we are pregnant with our 3rd baby which is a complete surprise and we both are not sure how we feel about it?
Our children are 7 & 3 and turn 8 and 4 in March. The baby would probably be due around December and we are not sure what to do?
How has everyone found having a 3rd baby?
We are in a small house and have only just moved so couldn't really move for another year or so and the children already share a bedroom.
Does it change a lot having 3 instead of 2?
I just wanted peoples opinions as we are stuck at now or never due to the age gap but just do not know what to do?

Hey. I am in a similar situation to you. I found out on Saturday I am about 4 weeks pregnant. I have a 6 month and a 2 year old already. We too have just moved and our house isn’t big enough for another (3 bed) We have my partners daughter age 11 from his previous marriage also - she only comes every other weekend though but needs her own space. I feel so confused and have spent the entire time in a daze, upset and going back and forth on my decision. Can’t offer you any advice I’m sorry just to say sending you a hand hold and hug as it’s not a nice position to be in when you just don’t know what to do x

Sorry, I can't offer advice, but found out I am pregnant this week and so unsure about what to do.

I have 2 children (5 & 2) and we live in a small 2 bed. Can't afford to move (bought this as a doer upper and won't be able to extend for a few years).

Financially a 3rd would be a stretch and we have trips to see family in zika areas this year which would mean we'd have to cancel and potentially lose money (not that that's a deal breaker).

I'm concerned about coping day to day, the impact on my current 2. I'm worried I won't be a good mum if I'm stopping them from these great experiences we have planned this year and squeezing another human into our already small house. And the constant background niggle about money - less clubs, holidays, days out... I know it sounds superficial but I'm worried they'll inadvertently suffer as a result and it's not their fault or fair on them.

Feel so lost

Sending virtual hugs to you both.
One minute I'm sure a termination is the best and most sensible route and the next I'm in tears at the thought of it.

Hi @oopsiedaisie1001 sending a ginormous virtual hug to you. I’m in tears again reading your comment. How you worded that is exactly me. One minute I feel clarity and then before I know it I’m like I can’t do it and tears come.

I’m trying to make dinner now whilst my toddler wants me to push her in her trike and the baby is crying bc she needs to nap and I can’t get to both quickly enough so in that stressful moment I was like how can I go ahead. This is my main concern, how another baby will take me away from my current two. specifically what my youngest will miss out on from me. Slightly worried about another c section so soon after my last but a midwife has reassured me it’s not unheard of and to not let that be my deciding factor but ultimately it’s a big surgery and the thought of leaving my girls is a huge weight in my mind should anything happen (I think this is a fear from my childhood of losing my mum)

I am so sorry we are all going through this. It is almost an impossible heartbreaking decision.

I have just had a call from a hospital to bring my appointment forward to 20th May to have a chat with a nurse and for a scan. Treatment doesn’t go ahead that day and I can back out at any time. I don’t know what I am hoping for…. I hope with time I get clarity. I can’t bring myself to tell my sister, only my partner and I know but it would be useful to tell her for her support. Do you have someone you can talk to? The help out there locally to me is not really existent.

whatever you choose it is going to be ok. There is no wrong or no right answer. Talk to yourself kindly. That’s what I keep telling myself …. but I am on a rollercoaster and my emotions are all over. I’m more than happy to ride it together with you if you ever need to talk x

@Mamato2girlss

You're right, it's an impossible decision.
Myself and my husband are going to have a good chat tonight once the kids are in bed.

I think he'll have a much more practical head on, but who knows.
We're both a bit shell shocked so have had a little bit of time to think and hopefully avoid knee jerk reactions.

I want to make whatever decision we make relatively quickly. Only 5ish weeks, so very early but I need to stop this hanging over me.

Either we go ahead and get on with it and prepare or we terminate and deal with that.
The going backwards and forwards is driving me insane and work today was a blur.

The struggle is real, some days I'm so touched out and over stimulated and I don't know how we'd cope with a 3rd, but I know it can be done.

I think I may tell my sister, but I don't think I'm quite ready yet.

After all you've been through, your worries and concerns are so valid, but I can see how it adds yet another layer of stress onto an already horrid situation.
Xxx

Just came across this thread and I’m in a similar position with a 1 & 5 year old and am so stuck on what to do. We don’t have the finances, space and didn’t have plans to have anymore. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make.

I am in a similar situation, with a 5 year old and 3 month old.. 3rd baby would be due around December.. my mind is all over the place!

It has been an incredibly hard decision but we have decided to keep the baby, ended up having lots of cramps and then found we have a due date 23.12.2023. My mother in law will not be happy though she doesn’t want us to have a third and also says we aren’t financially stable but you just end up making do don’t you. I am petrified for them to find out. We have decided that despite living in a 2 bed house we will make it work for a year and half then move to a 3 bed.
My 3 & 7 year old we will get bunk beds and baby will be in for us for quite a few months first anyway. Our tenancy is up in February but will renew for another year.

I am happy now we have made the decision and excited but scared of what other people may think considering our current living arrangements. People always have an opinion!

I think I’m pregnant… faint positive test today.
It is a big shock as had fertility issues 10+years ago when in my prime so didn’t think for a moment this would happen.
I turned 40 end of last year and had my implant removed to feel normal and feeling like I’d done my bit.
We have 2 DC who are coming up 16 and 11.

DH is going ape and said he is having no part of having another baby, he is too old and basically making me choose I feel between him and going ahead.

I'm confused and I don’t want to have to live with a decision I would regret and end up despising him.

advice please 🙏🏼

Sorry just realised I typed this in the wrong place!!

I’m pregnant with my 3rd baby and having elected c section as haven’t dilated with previous babies in labour this pregnant is so hard I’m 26 weeks my back hurts so much and my scar feels weird almost like it’s not long been done not sure how to describe it properly and get a lot of pain has anybody else experienced this and what week did u have your 3rd c section? Xx