Just found out I’m pregnant and freaking out

[Tiffi]

I found out last night that I’m pregnant with my 5th, and I’m completely freaking out. This wasn’t planned at all, we’d been careful but had one slip up which I didn’t even register until I got the positive test.

I don’t know what to do. We don’t want any more children, we’re very happy with our 4. DH definitely doesn’t want any more, he’s on the wait list for the snip, we tell everyone all the time that we’re done with 4.

My issue is I don’t know if I can go through with an abortion. I’ve always said I could never do it, and I know what’s in there, I know that it grows into a little baby, I’ve experienced that 4 times. I feel like it’s a much harder decision now I’ve had children already if that makes sense.

But we would struggle financially to have another, DH isn’t in the best mental place at the moment so this would rock him and we’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch lately too.
I’m just getting my life back - business is building, youngest 2 will be in childcare soon, social life is returning.. I don’t want to do it all again.

But I really don’t know if I can go through with a termination. I feel like I don’t want to do either option.

I haven’t told DH I’m pregnant yet. It’s DD’s birthday today too so I’m trying to hold it together but I just don’t know what to do and my head is spinning

any advice?

Bumping this - any advice? 😩

Hi - I found myself in an almost identical situation last month. I really didn't want to continue with the pregnancy but also didn't feel like I could live with myself if I decided to end it. My husband and I decided to 'let nature decide' but no matter how much I tried to convince myself it would be ok to have another baby, I knew it would put too much strain on me, my marriage, other kids etc. I kept hoping to have a miscarriage.
I contacted bpas and took the medical abortion pills at 5 weeks and 6 days. It was such a difficult decision but physically the process wasnt as awful as i thought it would be and passing the 'pregnancy' made me realise that it wasn't yet a 'baby'.
However the mental side is tough and I know it's something I will have to live with. It helps me to think of it as a 'pregnancy' rather than a baby. For us, there wasn't going to be a happy ending - the baby could've been - but to me it was too much of gamble. I chose the option that I felt to be best for my family. I couldn't have coped with another pregnancy or newborn phase and my existing children need my time.
Everyone's situations are different and my only advice would be to really think about the impact of all options rather than rush into a decision.
Feel free to pm if you want to chat. Only my husband knew about the pregnancy and the threads/ support on here really helped. Good luck.