Medical abortion - can you give me some encouragement please?

[Yanayana]

Hi, I am 5 weeks pregnant and have chosen to do a medical abortion.

I have a 6 m old baby (which was very much desired and planned) and I’m about to return to work in a couple of months.
My period was late 3-4 days so decided to do a pregnancy test just for a peace of mind and it was a blazing positive. My husband and I were completely shellshocked. Our protection method has failed us and we were completely blindsided. We would love to have more children in the future but currently we are simply in no position to add another baby, physically, mentally or financially.

So we spoke with BPAS and after a phone consultation and I’m waiting for my pills to arrive in the post next week. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant (counting from LMP), so I hope I get them and can take them by end of next week.

While I know this is 1000% the right decision for us, I feel sad, scared and angry that we’re in this position. I hate that I’m having to make this choice and I feel…embarrassed. I’m a 32 year old woman, I like to think I’m smart, I’m educated, I’m a planner…how did this happen to me?!?

I’m trying to focus on the positives: I am very early on, so hopefully things will be smooth and straightforward; I have a supportive and loving DH who will be with me every step of the way; I live in a country where I get to make this choice and can afford to do what’s best for me. Still, it doesn’t feel great.

Please don’t judge me. If we have differences of opinions- absolutely fine, don’t feel compelled to leave me a comment. I really need some encouragement and some friends right now.

RE the practical side of it, I have two main questions/concerns:

1. is there a better/easier way to dissolve the tablets - vaginally vs in the gums? If orally, do you feel sick? I have no nausea but I’m petrified they might make me sick and thus be ineffective. If vaginally, I’m afraid I won’t get them in deep enough, what if they fall out?!
2. how do I know I’ve “passed the pregnancy “? Bleeding, cramping, clots all seem to be expected…is it after those things settle that I know it’s done?

any advice or extra encouragement or tips appreciated.

Hiya. Firstly, bless you for being in this horrible difficult situation. This was me several months ago and there is no feeling like it really. I just wanted to cry and cry. It could happen to anyone, whether you’re 19, 25, 32 or 40! It’s not your fault this happened, just unfortunate. You’re very early which is a good thing.

In terms of the tablets I had similar feelings to you but chose to take them orally in the end. In my mind I knew that way they wouldn’t fall out. You put them between your upper gums and cheeks. It’s not a nice feeling but they begin to dissolve. You swallow what’s left of them after 30 mins. Mine didn’t dissolve a lot so I was panicking a little. Within 1hr I was getting period-like cramps and had started bleeding lightly. Passed a couple of small clots and bled lightly like the first few hours of a period, then it stopped entirely for about 12 hours. Then, the next day, it started again and was like a normal period but with very large clots and this lasted about 2-3 days. Weirdly and lots of people seem to say the same on these threads, most of it comes away when you go to the toilet. You will know if it’s worked just by the level and volume of bleeding tbh. Mine stopped after 10 days so basically a long period, and then I was spotting for a few days after that. Got my period 5 weeks exactly from taking the first tablet and that was a normal/lighter than usual period.
If you are worried about the bleeding you can call their helpline BPAS are really good to be honest.

I will say that I personally was the 1 in 10 to experience a common side effects with the tablets. I took them in the afternoon and It felt like I food poisoning until I went to bed, bad digestive cramps and upset tummy. This was gone by the next morning though. I’d just make sure your DH is around and can look after your baby as you might be feeling a bit rough. Would also recommend a couple of days in the house, ideally with a supply of chocolate and a comfy blanket. Sending love and strength, you are always welcome to DM me xx

@ShoeClues thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond. I so appreciate your post! Thank you!

i am just waiting to receive the pills now and the waiting is really tough, I just want this over and done with. I had my phone consultation very late Fri afternoon, and I know it’s only 8 am on a Mon now, but I just called NUPAS and they said that after the consultation the course of medication needs to be approved by two doctors before they can send the pills; and they still haven’t. And it could take 5-7 working days from the consultation for this to happen. I am just an anxious wreck, I’m desperate to get this going and to do it as soon and as early as possible.
how long was the waiting process for you?

Heyy! I am sorry you’re in this position & I completely understand the emotions you’re feeling about your situation.

I was 6 weeks when I had my medical abortion at home at couple months ago. I had my consultation over the phone on a thursday, then had to get it approved by the nurse the friday & the package arrived the monday afternoon.

In terms of the tablets:

1. I chose to insert them vaginally as I was afraid if they didn’t dissolve the taste would make me throw up. I started getting cramping after about an hour, followed by period-like bleeding. My cramps got more intense as time went on and I ended up throwing up anyway
2. The nurse I spoke to told me that i’d likely feel cramping until I had passed the pregnancy, which actually did happen. I was in bed with quite a lot of pain and after a few hours I felt something like a blood clot fall and the pain immediately eased up a bit. I didn’t really take any notice at the time because I was half asleep, but when I went to the toilet it kind of fell out. It was much bigger and looked different than the clots i’d been passing that’s how I knew as well, so l actually didn’t end up doing the 2nd lot of pills.

I bled for 2 weeks and then was spotting on and off for a few days. I got my first period this month, it started off a bit heavier than usual, which is normal, but all was fine!

Im not sure if they offered you codeine, but that kind of helped me once I had lined my stomach. Another useful thing was the Tena incontinence pants, they were really comfortable and I didn’t have to worry about leaking while in bed. A hot water bottle helped as well & I also had ibuprofen at hand which was a big help as I had a temperature and the chills too.

I hope the stuff about the cramps etc hasn’t made you anymore anxious, just want you to be prepared and as comfortable as possible throughout, because I wasn’t expecting it to be so intense - but again this definitely doesn’t happen to everyone & any pain had calmed by the next day!

I was so anxious about it like you, but the physical side is honestly kinda a blur now, you’ll be just fine, you’ve got this! Sending you lots of love and if you want to talk or anything feel free to DM ❤️

okay, so I received the pills yesterday (FINALLY!). The wait itself wasn’t too long but it felt like forever and I felt like a nervous mess.

i took the MF at 1 pm yesterday. Had no side effects.

I just inserted the 4 out of 6 pills vaginally at 3.30 pm pushing them with my finger as high up as they’d go and currently laying down for a quick Real Housewives episode to make sure they dissolve and don’t fall out. I don’t know what I was thinking I had freaked myself out they’d be like a massive aspirin tablets or something, and they were diddy.

I also took a paracetamol but holding off on the codaine for now. They gave me it when I was in labor and I remember it made me drowsy but didn’t really help with the pain… so trying to see how things go before I decide if I need them. Is that stupid? Should I just take one now?

I don’t feel anything yet. Other than an odd twinge but it feels sort of in my bum?! Maybe I’m imagining things 🤷🏻‍♀️

Btw, I’m exactly 6 weeks today (from first day of last period) so pretty early on so I just hope and pray this works exactly as it should and this is all over soon.

it’s been 1.5 h now and I still have no pain or anything but finally went to the toilet for a wee and the wee was lightly blood colored so I guess things are starting. Nothing on the pad or the paper though, although I wiped super lightly just in case a pill comes back out 🙈🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi just wondering how you got on?
I just discovered today I am pregnant unexpectedly.

Hi @Scaredoldie ughhh sorry to see you here. But it was...surprisingly...good?! It feels wrong to call it that, but it was. I actually did a massive post on this page and just posted it, if you want to read all about it...feel free to PM me if you'd like too. x