Unexpected baby 3 pregnancy

[larrb]

Hello, I’m after some hardcore advice as I have no idea what to do. I have two children 7 and 9 (boy and girl) and for a few years on and off been toying with another child. Just found out today that I’m very early pregnant, which wasn’t planned- I sobbed!

we are financially fine, lovely house and car however a third child things will have to change, with that age gap too.

I have never had an abortion before and after googling as I’m so early I think it will be a tablet but dont want to regret it.

my life is back to normal, the kids literally look after themselves and when/if the baby arrived I’ll have an 8 and 9 1/2 year old. I don’t want to hold these two back,

help! Has anyone been though it with no regrets?

Hi, hope you're doing ok.

To answer your question at the end of your post. Yep, me & I absolutely do not have any regrets. We decided to abort what would have been our 3rd baby & it wasn't an easy choice, it was an emotional time but I don't regret it, not one bit. That's not to say I don't care or that is didn't affect me but it was the right choice.

It's hard because it's such a personal decision that only really you can truly know what's best but I'm really happy to share my experience or answer any questions you might have if I can 😊.

@larrb could I ask how it went and what you decided. I find myself in the exact same predicament. My children are teenagers though.

for 14 years I have wanted a third but it never happened and now it has unexpectedly happened so late on, I have been surprised about how I don’t actually feel like it anymore. I feel too old and it would just be too disruptive. As much as the idea sounds lovely, the hassle involved feels too much. The morning sickness alone is making me irritable and I’m not able to give me children the attention they deserve.

i honestly don’t think I’d regret it as the relationship with my children is more important but just interested to hear others perspective.

@Jsh125 did you get closure on the issue. In a way I’m glad this has happened as I can move on as it has always been there niggling away but it just feels a bit sad.

Hi @BlueRedCat

we have decided to keep the baby. I booked two appointments in the same day, on the morning an abortion appointment for Tuesday 25th and on the afternoon I booked a harmony appointment on Wednesday 26th.

I was getting so chewed as due to me finding out quite late, I would be 10 weeks by the time I attended abortion app. and I know I’m not strong enough to go through that. if it was before 10 weeks I’d be able to take a tablet and wouldn’t think of it as a proper abortion but they said I’d have to stay in hospital while I went through it. My brain just tells me it’s a little human and I don’t think I’d have got over it…. Anyway I’ve come to terms with it and excited now, going to try and wait as long as possible to tell the kids.planning on having every test going making sure everything is ok.

such a stressful time, hope you manage to make the right decision 😘

I think you've got a lovely age gap and one thing great is the older two won't be that dependent on you and will help out! I have a 9 nearly 10 year age gap with my 2nd sibling and she's my world ❤️

@larrb thats lovely. I’m glad you are in a great place.

i would have done the exact same thing if I were you. My eldest child is about to start GCSE’s and so it just feels like wrong time sadly. 5 years ago it would have been a no brainer but I want to be there fully to support them. I’m also only 3 weeks in and only know this as morning sickness kicked in aggressively and confirmed by a blood test. It has been terribly hard hiding the reason why I have been so I’ll from the children.

in my head I figure it will simply be my period and be as if it never happened. I’ll be sad but actually feels like a weight has been lifted. I would just like it done now though so I can move on.

wishing all the best x

@larrb pleased to hear you were able to make a decision & lovely that you've keeping the baby was right for you - it's such a difficult decision when life throws you a curveball. wishing you a happy & healthy pregnancy 😊😊

@BlueRedCat yeah I think I have. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it still (I'd have been due around now) but on the whole I have moved on, I don't wish we were gearing up for a new baby & I feel comfortable that we made the right decision for us as a family. Of course I feel guilt that I aborted a baby, there's no way you can dress that up to not seem like a big deal but i absolutely stand by our decision & that's not changed. A baby changes you life & we just didn't want that. As awful as it sounds we had to be selfish & think about ourselves & our children first. I'd always I said that abortion was something I could never bring myself to do, until it happened to us & we were facing the reality of a 3rd baby.

I wasn't quite sure from your post if you've made a decision yet & if so what that decision was but my best advice is to give yourself a little time, let it sink in & work out how you really feel. You can book appointments with both maternity services & bpas (or equivalent) to see how you feel remembering no one will make you go through with anything, it's 100% your choice.

Here if I can help at all. X

@BlueRedCat i hope you are well. May I ask what was your final decision?

i didn’t have to make one in the end. Miscarried within a month or so. Thanks for the thought. Everything is back to normal. Definitely a very bizarre couple of months. Relieved and sad about it but life has a funny way of working out for the best one way or another x