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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

I want an abortion due to fetal abnormalities but i know my boyfriend does'nt want me to do it.

1 reply

tuliptale88 · 31/03/2023 18:24

Me and my partner planned for this baby after both wanting children for so long and we were so excited to get pregnant on our first try. At our 12 week scan they noticed extra fluid around babies neck and advised us to go for extra tests.

After having a cvs test it came back that the baby has downs syndrome. I know this is a touchy subject and that most downs babies go on to live healthy lives but not all of them do. I don't think i'm strong enough or financially stable enough to take something like this on in my first pregnancy, If it turned out to be a server case, to me it would not be fair on making the child go through that.

My boyfriend has made it clear that it's mainly my choice and he supports whatever decision i make but it is very clear he wants me to keep the baby. I know it must be very upsetting and i will never forgive myself for taking away a wanted baby from him, i am so heartbroken and its not a choice i've ever wanted to make or thought i would have to make.
I tried to involve him as much as i could in the decision and made sure he was ok too but his response was always its my choice and that he doesn't have a say and has made me feel so alone in this, am i being selfish?

He has accepted my decision and said he would never hold it against me but i feel like he already is and have many arguments since. From what started as 'i will support you with whatever you choose' has now gone to him turning very blunt and cold towards me and i don't know what else to do. Ive told him i'm here for him to but i feel like he cant even look at me.
Is this just his way of copping with it? will he ever forgive me and want to try again? Am i making the wrong decision? i feel so lost right now.

OP posts:
Saskia2023 · 02/04/2023 01:29

I am so sorry- you must be devastated and so torn what to do. does your hospital offer counselling? Maybe if you had someone independent to talk to it would help process whats going on? My husband and I made the mistake of just talking to each other feeling we needed to make the decision but in hindsight we got ourselves into the same cycle of conversations and i lost sight of being able to process my thoughts and feelings. that may help you decide for you. It looks like places like Tommys can also offer advice etc. Hopefully someone will reach out to you who has been in a similar position. Sending you so much love- the hardest decision and like you say its that worry as well that either way it impacts on your relationship x

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