Hi everyone, I wanted to share my experience with surgical abortion in the hopes that it will help some of you ladies during what is such a difficult time in life to be in xx
I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks - I was shocked and unsure as to how I felt about the whole thing. As the weeks progressed, I found myself drifting further and further from the idea of going through with the pregnancy (for a number of personal reasons). However, I didn't want to have a knee-jerk reaction as I wasn't in the position where I was 100% certain of terminating the pregnancy from the get-go; I had fears that I would later regret my decision as either one is so final, so I gave myself time and space to consider both options - having days where I pretended I'd made the decision to go through with the pregnancy, and days where I pretended to end it, and observed as best I could how I felt about the alternative outcomes - I journalled a lot, spoke with people around me and here on mumsnet (to those women, I am eternally grateful), and called a helpline. I tried to observe whose advice I sided with more, whose stories I felt gave me most comfort and when I felt more drawn to who spoke more sense to me personally and who didn't.
I even flipped a coin! (a tip I picked up on mumsnet) Not to leave my life decisions up to fate of course, but rather to observe how I felt once that side of the coin came up (acceptance or further turmoil).
Although I found out super early, I didn't actually end the pregnancy until I was 11 weeks - what I want to say is: you have time. Acting in the fastest way possible can sometimes lead to shock after the procedure is done, if that's what you choose, and you're then left not only trying to process ending the pregnancy, but also becoming pregnant in the first place, as everything can happen so quickly.
I know this might not work for some, but I feel so much more at ease with my decision having tried to do some of the mental groundwork before actually acting on my decision, as I know I acted thoughtfully and considered everything as thoroughly as I could with the tools I had.
As for the physical side, I opted for a surgical abortion under General Anaesthetic - everyone in the clinic was extremely nice and supportive - I lay on a bed, chatted with the doctors as they inserted an IV, took a few deeps breaths and woke up in the recovery room 20 minutes later - I remember nothing, was totally asleep, and for me this was the option as I felt I had already put myself through enough emotional and physical turmoil by getting to that decision in the first place, I just wanted the whole process to come to an end in the least traumatic way possible.
Since then, I bled a little in the first couple of days, like the lightest day of your period with some very mild cramping. I'm now just 5 days post abortion, and the bleeding and cramping have totally gone since yesterday.
It was an extremely tough decision, but I want to share my story to help those who are on the difficult journey. I know some people want to make a decision and act asap, but if you're in any way unsure at the start, give yourself some time to process, hopefully it will help you later on in your journey.
If anything in my circumstances change, I'll be sure to update but as for now, I feel like I've made the best decision I could for me at the time, and have suffered physically in the least way possible, giving myself the room to try and move forward now xx
If I can help anyone in any other way, please don't hesitate to reach out - sending you all lots of love and strength for whichever road you're on ❤