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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

Abort Twins

7 replies

Villan89 · 14/03/2023 20:58

Hi,
I found out at a private scan on Saturday that I’m pregnant with twins, the pregnancy was planned but definitely not prepared for twins.
Its something I’ve never wanted and there’s no way we could cope with twins, I already have a 2 year old.
Im currently 9 weeks pregnant.
So now I don’t know what to do, I’m obviously considering an abortion, which is something I never thought I’d have to go through, but I can’t decide if I should wait and have my NHS scan in around 4 weeks time to just check incase miraculously ones disappeared, or there could be problems with one of them and then that could be an option for selective reduction.
Or do I go for the abortion now? as obviously whilst I’m waiting they’re growing and I’m still feeling sick and all the pregnancy side effects.
My problem is I really want another baby so even If I have this abortion I will be trying to get pregnant again afterwards, just praying it won’t be twins again.

OP posts:
Cinderellaspumpkin · 15/03/2023 08:59

What a very, very difficult situation for you @Villan89 . I really feel for you, as twins/ triplets was one of my fears during early pregnancy, ( however in my case 12 week scan showed it was a single pregnancy).

Personally, before making any decisions, I would urgently contact the twins trust helpline. They are a UK based charity that provide peer to peer support to twin mum's. They can help you look at what other twin mum of newborns do , to check whether there are routines you can put in place. It may very well be , the situation may seem much more manageable after hearing how others have coped with twins at the baby stage .

Also can I ask what your partner's take on this is ? Is he being supportive ?

Wishing you all the best xx

Original poster
Villan89 · 15/03/2023 11:48

Thanks for your reply.
I will take a look at the twins helpline, but I just can’t see any positives in having them.
My husband is supportive but does feel the same way as me.

OP posts:
mrsjrbp · 16/03/2023 12:07

Villan89 · 14/03/2023 20:58

Hi,
I found out at a private scan on Saturday that I’m pregnant with twins, the pregnancy was planned but definitely not prepared for twins.
Its something I’ve never wanted and there’s no way we could cope with twins, I already have a 2 year old.
Im currently 9 weeks pregnant.
So now I don’t know what to do, I’m obviously considering an abortion, which is something I never thought I’d have to go through, but I can’t decide if I should wait and have my NHS scan in around 4 weeks time to just check incase miraculously ones disappeared, or there could be problems with one of them and then that could be an option for selective reduction.
Or do I go for the abortion now? as obviously whilst I’m waiting they’re growing and I’m still feeling sick and all the pregnancy side effects.
My problem is I really want another baby so even If I have this abortion I will be trying to get pregnant again afterwards, just praying it won’t be twins again.

Hi, I've sent you a private message, hope you don't mind x

Nicole77 · 17/03/2023 14:35

Hey! Would love to say congrats.

By the way I know, the pregnancy hormones are the worse! It’s like a temporary disability being pregnant.

I understand the stress and fears of having a baby talk less of 2.
I do understand how you feel as I terminated twin girls a couple years ago and I still felt like I could hear them cry to me from afar.

The worse thing is, I also couldn’t see myself holding two crying babies at the same time and losing my hair! I’ve struggled to forgive myself and felt empty. Made it much worse as BPAS took some time to update me on the Abortion dates etc.

I would say if you’ve got any support try and push through if you can. The babies are Gifts from God and definitely a blessing. Good luck and wishing you the very best.

justpoppingtotheshops · 17/03/2023 15:02

I'm sorry you feel unable to continue

Firstly I will admit I'm a mum of twins - I'm a single parent - but I love having twins. And actually found having the twins easier than my eldest as I was more confidant as a mum second time around and as they get older they need less input from me as they always have each other to play with. So don't automatically discount having them because you think you can't cope. Plus you have your husband as support too? I know just because I found it manageable doesn't mean you will too but with support anything is possible

I guess the other thing to consider - and I don't want to scare you as ultimately it's absolutely your choice - but What kind of twins are they? Non identical so DCDA your chance of having twins again is very high so you may go through with a termination only to find another planned pregnancy is again twins?

Ipngaying · 05/06/2023 20:13

Can I get some information on how to have selective reduction? I have same case and cannot find a way to do

BiancaTyree · 22/03/2024 18:16

Hi I’m 28 have 2 boys from an abusive partner and recently had my daughter who’s 6 months old I found out I’m pregnant I was using contraception I didn’t think I would have another child for now at least until I’m 35 and over but I’ve fallen pregnant with twins and I’ve terminated I don’t know how to feel I feel suicidal I can’t look after my boys or my daughter because I’m feeling so bad send hell guidance prayers anything thank you all

More to my story my boys don’t see there father and my parents passed when I was 13 so the support system is very small my daughters family is good my daughters father only has my daughter

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