Single mum pregnant with twins unsure what to do

[Haychbr]

Hi so I wanted to post to see if there was anyone out there with a similar situation as I'm extremely anxious right now. I'm long term single I do have a friend who I occasionally sleep with and have done on and off for a number of years. I track my periods and ovulation and so far it has stopped me from getting pregnant until now. I am 5weeks + 5days pregnant and needed a scan due to pain and it showed that I'm actually pregnant with twins.. I currently have a 14yo who has autism and a 6yo who has autism, dyspraxia and a few other health problems, I am currently a carer to my youngest full time. I live far away from my family so have no reql support and the man who has got me pregnant has just told me he's actually still with the mother of his kids! (I knew about the kids but not the relationship). He wants an abortion, also says he couldn't be there for me or help. I honestly feel terrible. I know if I had the babies I'd be in for a really hard time, alone with all these children and I'd still have to help my 6yo a lot.. I'm obviously never going to go near this man again knowing what I know now but I feel like if I was to keep the babies I'd be a home wrecker and I'd be a very stressed single mum of 4! I've been considering abortion but it feels really unnatural with it being twins (I'd still feel the same if it was one baby but 2 is really pulling on my heart strings!) Also I had severe HG with my last pregnancy I was in hospital for most of the 9 months and I'm terrified of that again especially with me being a carer.
Just wondered if anyone's ever been through something similar before as I'm feeling very alone and undecided on the whole thing

I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation

I'm a single mum of twins - husband left when they were 1. Why? Because he found it too hard (we have an older child too) and that's without having any health issues thrown in. I wouldn't ever go back and change a single thing (these babies were planned after lots of losses and lots of ivf) but it is bloody hard. I'm lucky in that my eldest who is 6 is really helpful - better than their dad actually - but you won't even have that support from your older children (I don't have family nearby either and work full time)

And obviously you will be aware that autism can be genetic so you are at higher risk of the twins having autism?

And then there is pregnancy. I was fit and healthy but still found it hard. Sofa rest from around 20 weeks. Lots of hospital stays and then twins in NICU for several weeks

I love being a twin mum but in the circumstances you describe I don't think I would have continued the pregnancy x

Hey thank you for getting back to me! I really do appreciate any advice I can get at this point. I'm sorry to hear about your husband that's a really awful thing to do to you especially while they're so young and your emotionally still going through a lot with 1yr olds it's really not fair at all!

This is the problem I'm facing really I would have zero help and it would be purely on me. My youngest sons health can be so bad at times we can't leave the house for weeks I can only imagine how difficult it could be to add twins to the mix. And oldest is having a lot of emotional issues largely teenager problems but having autism just make it all a bit too much for him he's spoke of being suicidal lately and it scares me to think how stressed he could become with another 2 babys at home.

Autism is another thing that does worry me as I have 2 children now diagnosed it's very possible the next could also have the same issues. Don't get me wrong they were amazing babies but they struggled a lot in their early years and even now with emotional and social problems. My 6 year old still needs helping as if he was a baby I do everything for him. I really dont know how I'd cope having 2 babies in the hospital and 2 at home it's just so difficult.

I really appreciate your advice, I have booked an appointment with bpas for this Tuesday I am leaning more towards abortion I wish I could be more strong minded though it feels like the decisions still waiting to be made I still don't feel certain either way! X

Hey thank you! I really appreciate your post thank you for your thoughts. I'm not too bad I'm not feeling great though, think it could be a mixture of anxiety plus pregnancy symptoms.

Honestly I was terrified to even post on here as I was dreading being called names or told that I must've know. I must just be slightly niave to the situation😪. I've know him for years so I really thought I knew him but I guess you never really know someone until you go through some bad times. He's really shown his true colours over the last week. He said he wants no more children yet he's not had any procedures to make sure he doesn't have any more instead it's just left to the women, totally unfair!
And thank you for the link! I will have a read on there today, it really was such a bad time I've not wanted to be pregnant again.. my GP has warned me I have more chance of hyperemisis with twins but so far I haven't been that sick so I'm feeling quite lucky in that sense so far x

@Haychbr Have you decided what to do?