So, long story short, I'm pregnant.
We were tracking ovulation to either avoid pregnancy or have a baby when we were ready.
I didn't think it through, and now I'm 5 weeks pregnant.
We live in a two bedroom, small flat which we rent, but can afford and don't struggle.
I'm 28, and my partner is 44. He has an ex-wife and a 13 year old. Who lives with his mother.
I'm not sure I can do this. As a parent, particularly a mother, it seems like you lose all your freedoms, passions, and any dreams you may have had before having a baby.
We have been in this flat for four months, and I struggled.
Moving from my childhood home, not having to think about anything, and barely having responsibilities to moving in with someone was difficult.
I have just begun to adjust, and now I'm pregnant, and it's my fault.
I think depression is playing its part in my emotions too, as I don't think I've admitted to myself how bad my mental health has been.
Part of me, a big part, doesn't want to give up my freedoms, and lazy moments and PS5 days to a child.
It sounds like first world problems, but I really am undecided.
My partner is exctatic! He's so happy he's willing to change jobs so I can have more of his help, willing to change for this baby. He would be amazing.
It sounds awful that I'm not willing to let go or put on hold, my hobbies and free time for a child I, in theory, didn't prevent.
I have a great support system, my parents live 2 minutes away, and my dad will be a wonderful grandad.
My sister, though dubious and has the same concerns as me, will be supportive.
I have everything I need to make it work, but I haven't decided what to do.
Afterthoughts... I have a private scan at 7 weeks which is April first. An abortion consultation on the 16th of this month.
I thought I would do both and decide then. I really am mixed up. 😕 i have had an abortion before and regretted it but it was the best for me at the time.
Any experiences, good and bad, are welcome. Just please don't be rude, I'm having a bad time as is.