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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Multiple Abortions

4 replies

littleredfrog86 · 06/03/2023 22:53

I am really struggling. On the last six months I have had 2 abortions. I know they were the right thing to do but I'm struggling with feeling guilty and also the loneliness of dealing with it all alone and being made to feel worthless by the father's. (Yes there were 2 but please hold judgement)

I decided on the first abortion due to my relationship breaking down. He wasn't affectionate, wasn't appreciative of the fact I did everything for him and his kids due to him having a job which meant he worked all hours. He would come in bot say hello, eat the dinner I'd prepared sot in front of the TV and fall asleep. I got to the point were I felt so unwanted I just had to end it. We had only lived together 3 months and had sex once...and yes after we split up 3 days later I found out I was pregnant.
He wasn't the best father to his kids..only saw them every other weekend and made no effort to spend quality time with them just letting them watch TV....which o changed whilst we were together ...so given that and how he had treated me I decided to not keep it. Hale had said he didn't want me or the baby and proceeded to ask his sister to get a test so I could prove how far along I wasm he disappeared at this point for a few days. Granted he took em to the first appointment for the abortion be he then disappeared for 5 days starting on the day of the second set of tablets. Only asking how my dinner was on the day. So I dealt with it all alone ...making with a break up and having to move house. Heard nothing from him since I stopped bleeding and he started a new relationship 6 weeks later.

The most recent abortion was with my ex before (I slept with him in rebound) we had been getting on well and he had supported me through moving house etc. But I hadn't had a period for 3 months and I took the double dose of the morning after pill and still got pregnant. He sent me the most vile messages calling me a slag and that I was a psycho and had forced him into sex. None of this being true. Told me he would only support me if I made the right decision. As soon as I said I wasn't keeping the baby he said he would support me. Only to be left to cope alone at the first appointment...he was there on the day and then nothing since. Almost like he was just checking it had gone. I since broke down in front of him due to a bad bleed day...he just stared at me and has not spoken to me since and blocked me.

It's all very hard to deal with and I don't know where to start with getting past all the pain and the worthless feeling o have by being left to cope alone.

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Huddlebum · 07/03/2023 16:14

I think it would be a good idea to get some counselling. There are lots of charities who offer free services to people who are in your situation who need some support. Have a google and see if there are any near you or ones you could telephone. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. Talking to someone who is an expert will help you but it will also take time, you’ve been through something traumatic. Just remember you did the best you could in the situation you were in.

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Nicole77 · 11/03/2023 10:53

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in these situations.
I would suggest taking a break for yourself and healing and hopefully the right guy for you comes along. In regards to your abortions, first step is forgiving yourself for them and making it right the next time as much as we are told we can have as many as we like it can have different long term effects on everyone. Hopefully you know your beautiful just the way you are and nobody should determine whether or not you keep a baby. I’ve had my fair share of abortions and I deeply regret it today.

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Guilt27 · 21/02/2024 19:09

We're both ur abortions medical abortions? I had one last May xx

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Scrambledeggplant · 22/02/2024 09:54

I've had more than two due to making horrendously poor life decisions when I was younger. I never had any kind of therapy for it and not speaking up about it has made my life difficult. I regret every single one, the ones I had from 6 weeks, to 16 weeks. It's a dark place to be in sometimes

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